Change
by eventer22
Summary: Livi's life was perfect. Then one day a terrible accident occured leaving Livi untouched and her mother dead. Suddenly, her life changes drastically. Then she meets Adam, their new stablehand. Can he help Livi to change back to the girl she used to be?
1. Chapter 1: A Newcomer

It had been four months since the accident that left my mom dead

It had been four months since the accident that left my mom dead. I realized that my life had been absolutely empty for those past four months and it was never going to be filled again. I mean, it happened so fast. I can't believe she died and I didn't. And, it was my fault that she's dead. If I hadn't begged her to go, she'd probably be out working in the barn right now. It was all my fault, and I had to learn to live with it.

Everyone still turns and stares when I walk by in this town, as if to make sure I'm not going to kill myself right then and there, as if her death made me completely psycho. Which it didn't. It just made me completely lifeless, uncaring of what I do. They still turn and whisper when I walk by, as if they have no idea I can hear them, or they just don't care. My life has completely changed after that stormy day. I go home, help around the barn, go in and do my homework, and then go to bed.

My friends don't invite me to parties anymore. After the accident, I walked around numb and lifeless. After two weeks of this, they gave up on me and pretend I don't exist anymore. I don't talk in school anymore, I don't laugh, and my friends don't bother to even look at me. My teachers never call on me; never even look at me either. They just pass their eyes over me like I'm an empty desk.

I used to be popular, fun, and exciting. Now I'm a no body, quiet, and dull.

I got into my truck and headed out of the school parking lot. I didn't care I was skipping my last two classes. No one would even notice I was gone.

On the road, it was quiet and all I could here was the engine running. I had given up on listening to music, or anything that would bring up the painful memories of that afternoon. I've worked so hard on trying to get it to fade away, but the memories are so vivid and so alive still.

Tears started welling in me eyes. I had to think of something else. Something to stop the tears from coming out. I've cried for so long and my eyes ached from it.

I thought about Dawson to get my mind away from mom. He was the best horse to me and I've had him for nine years now. Ever since I was eight and bought him, he's been my best friend, partner, and basically my life. If I hadn't had him I don't think I would have ever gotten through mom's death, or even her funeral.

It was so hard going to the church that night and listening to people I barely knew come up to me and give me their condolences. After about an hour of it, I left early and drove straight to the barn and sat in Dawson's stall and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. He just looked at me, so understanding and caring with his deep eyes. I swear his eyes were so mesmerizing you could see his soul.

My mouth started to curl up into a smile. Not one of those fake smiles I had been doing for the past months, but a real smile. My face had forgotten how to smile and it felt weird and different. Almost foreign.

I pulled in the driveway and parked my truck.

I went into the barn and fetched up his leather halter and headed to his stall. As soon as he saw me his face shot up and a lot whinny came out. Mike, our stable hand came up behind me.

"He's been lookin forward to seein ya all day Miss Livi."

I took him out and tied him up outside his stall. I groomed him well and started to tack up when I noticed my dad pull up. This was definitely unusual, and in a bad way.

I kept tacking up Dawson as if I hadn't seen him and he walked into the barn.

"Where's Mike?" he asked a little stressed.

I just shrugged my shoulders and he walked off.

He was used to me not saying anything so I was surprised he even asked me a question.

I turned back to Dawson and put his bridle on. I grabbed my helmet and went out on the trails behind the barn.

We walked for a while and after about ten minutes, I gave Dawson the reins and he took off galloping. I quickly grabbed the reins and smiled. He knew exactly how to make me happy.

We galloped on, the wind surrounding me to wear I couldn't hear anything. I was secluded in this moment and it felt great. For a short time I felt like everything was going to be all right. But then the feeling stopped as I brought him back to a walk.

I knew I shouldn't be galloping or jumping him since he had retired. But it was still hard for me to grasp the concept. It was hard to believe that the best jumper to ever come through our barn and who won me tons of ribbons was retired now.

We turned around and walked back heading to the barn. I hadn't realized how far we'd come into the forest.

When I got back, I saw that Mike's car wasn't there anymore. Apparently, he had left early and expected me to feed. Boy, thanks!

I got off and walked into the barn but everyone had been fed and everything was ready for the night.

Huh…maybe he just left early.

I pulled Dawson's saddle and bridle off and put him in his stall to eat.

Dad came around the corner moments later while I was putting things up.

"Hey, do you have everything under control here?"

"Yeah," I said weakly.

"Ok. Well, I'm off. I'll see you at home."

I stayed a little while longer, just sitting on the stairs of the hayloft and watching the horses. It was one of my favorite places because I could just sit and think about things here. When I felt Dad might be getting a little worried, I went to my truck and started home.

When I got inside, dinner was on the table.

"I was just about to call you," he said with a smile.

I went to sit down at the table and we started eating. Well, he did. I just kind of looked at my food and took little bites here and there. He finally looked up at me, with exhaustion and determination in his eyes.

"Look. I've been thinking and I think it's about time you come out of this little phase your having."

I looked up at him, wide eyed. He'd never confronted me about this, just lived with it.

"And things have been kind of tight around here with money so I had to fire Mike."

I still looked at him confused.

"And how does this effect me?"

He looked a little shocked, because I barely ever said a whole sentence anymore. He recovered quickly though.

"Well, I don't know if you remember my old buddy from when we lived in Georgia, Alex?"

"What about him?"

Now he was starting to look really shocked.

"Well, he has two sons, Sean and Adam. I don't know if you remember them."

I put my fork down and looked at my dad directly now.

"Oh I remember them. The two boys that always pulled my hair and made fun of me?"

He started to look a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah, them…I think they're close to your age now. Anyway, I invited them to come up and work at our barn for the rest of the year and all of summer. Until we can get some money back into our pockets. John said that this is Sean's senior year and he needs him to stay down there but Adam's willing to work here for free and even change schools."

"How does this affect me?"

I was starting to get a little angry. I had never liked the Vanpelt boys.

"I was just thinking. Maybe he could help you, you know, get back in to your regular life routine."

This made me really mad!

"My regular life routine is fine!"

Whoa, that came out a little angrier than I had wanted!

"And I doubt that Vanpelt boy who hated me is going to be the one to help me change back to who I was!"

"Honey, they all know about the situation and Adam said he'd be here for you."

"They know about the situation! THEY KNOW ABOUT THE SITUATION! Well why don't ya just tell everyone in the world what happened. Oh wait! Everyone in the world already knows!"

I stood up and went upstairs to my room.

When I got there I was still a little shocked at how I'd reacted. I hadn't said that many words to my dad in the last month! Let alone in one conversation! He was probably just as surprised as I was. I felt bad though. I shouldn't have yelled at him. He means well and he's just trying to keep our stable running because he knows how much it means to me. And then I went and treated him like dirt. Nice one Livi!

I decided to get in the shower and try to ease me temper.

When I got out, I started on some homework (I know, what a dork!), when I smelt my dad's homemade brownies.

This was his way of apologizing and it made me feel even worse about how I'd acted. I knew I needed to go down there and set things better between us. I at least owed him that much.

I opened my door and started down the stairs when he looked up at me with a weak smile.

"Sweaty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he said apologetically.

I started walking down the stairs again.

"No Dad. It was my fault. I shouldn't have gone off like that. You're just trying to keep things going around here with the stable, the house, and everything."

He looked at me and smiled again.

"Honey, I just care about you and want you to be happy again."

I looked at him with a weak smile, which was the most I could manage.

"I know Dad."

I went over and gave him a hug.

"I just have one question," I said.

"What's that?"

I could here the curiosity in his voice.

"When is Adam coming?"

He looked down for a moment and I could tell he didn't want to answer but he finally looked up and me again.

"He's coming tomorrow."

I took in a sharp breath but didn't let my emotions roll over to my face.

"And where is he staying?"

He looked down again. I hit the mother load.

"In our guest room."

"Okay," I said reassuringly. I didn't want him to see how upset I was about the fact that he hadn't bothered to tell me until the night before of when he was coming.

"I made you brownies," he said and I could tell he was trying to change the subject.

"I know."

I tried to laugh to make the atmosphere in the room a little lighter.

"I could smell them all the way from upstairs."

He laughed and poured us some milk.

I sat down at the table and I started to have a feeling this conversation wasn't over.

I waited for him to say what was on his mind while I pretended to read a horse magazine on the counter.

"I've been thinking," he started. "That maybe it would be good for you to ride Flint again and maybe…"

"Dad no. You know how hard that is for me."

I didn't want to sound mean since we'd just gotten back on good terms but there was no way I was going to ride him.

"Honey, he's an amazing jumper and he's just sitting in that stall. You need to ride him."

I started to get up from the counter. I wanted to get to my room before the tears took over.

"I can't even look at that horse Dad. You might as well sell him."

Even as I said those words I knew they were a lie. This horse was one of the only close ties I had left to my mom and saying that made my tongue sting.

"Your mom would have wanted you to ride him."

Dad did not want to give up on this topic.

"I'll think about it. I'm really tired so I'm just going to go to bed now."

That was the best excuse I could find out of this upsetting conversation.

I started to walk up the stairs.

"Livi?"

I stopped and turned around to him unwillingly.

"Yeah Dad?"

He smiled again.

"You never know. You might end up being friends with that Vanpelt boy."

"Yeah," I said weakly. "Maybe."

"I love you."

"Love you too Dad."

I gave him a weak smile and walked the rest of the way to my room.

I was tired from staying up the night before and studying for tests and as soon as I lay down, I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Adam

I woke up the next morning with darkness outside my window

I woke up the next morning with darkness outside my window. I had to get up early and go take care of the horses.

Welcome to my life!

I rolled out of bed and put on some riding pants and a polo.

I started into my regular routine with washing my face, brushing my teeth, and so on.

When I looked decent enough, I walked downstairs and saw Dad sitting in front of the television.

He turned around and smiled.

"Good morning. Your up early!"

"Yeah. Just thought I needed to get out and feed," I said sleepily.

He just laughed.

"Get much sleep?"

"Not really," I said with a yawn.

I decided to settle with a granola bar to eat on the way there and grabbed it out of the pantry.

I said by and started out to the car. It was still dark outside and the sun was just coming up.

I started driving down the road to the stables, enjoying this peaceful morning. I loved the feeling of getting up so early that it feels like the rest of the world is still sleeping. It's one of my favorite parts of the day.

When I got there, I started the regular routine, which by the way, was going to be very long today! I started with feeding the horses and then began to clean stalls. I then put some horses to pasture and others in stalls. I filled water buckets and gave hay and was done for the morning.

I decided to get the arena ready for the first lesson of the morning and when I was walking out, I heard a loud whinny. I turned around and every horse was eating. Except for one.

Flint.

His ears were pricked up and he looked at me with the most adorable eyes.

I took in a deep breath and walked over to his stall. He pressed his black head into me and I gave a little smile.

A sudden rush of guilt flooded over me as I realized how I had neglected to give him any attention.

"I'm sorry buddy. It's just going to take some time."

I gave him one last pat and walked off.

I made it to the arena and started setting up jumps for the younger kids. When I was finished I walked back into the barn and noticed the three kids getting their ponies saddled. I realized one was missing.

I was about to go in the office and call them when her and her mom showed up.

She looked like she was aggravated but I couldn't think of anything I may have done to upset her.

I closed the door and stepped out.

"Hi Mrs. David. Is McKenzie riding today?"

I tried to act nice but she was putting off a negative vibe.

"No Livi she's not. We've decided to take our horse over to the Cleveland Farms. We just came to pack our things and get our horse."

"Oh." I said a little surprised.

By now all the little kids were staring at us with wide eyes. I decided to take this conversation somewhere else.

"Please step into the office for a moment." I said politely.

When we were inside, I started again.

"Now Mrs. Davis, I believe I at least deserve an explanation before you just take your horse off my family's property."

She was getting mad now.

"Well, with your mom gone, there's not a good trainer here and my daughter needs the best right now."

I looked at her annoyed.

"Well, with all due respect Mrs. David, your daughter is only seven years old and I'm qualified to teach her the basics, and well over that too. Is that the only problem?"

I was egging her on now and her face was turning red.

"Well, you're only seventeen and with your mom gone and not running this stable, who knows how bad things are going to get with money problems and such things. I just want to get out while we're still dry and above water."

This was making me mad.

"Let me tell you one thing Mrs. Davis. We are perfectly fine on money right now. And we even have a friend who's coming up from Oklahoma to work for free until things get back to normal, but by all means, if you want to go to Cleveland where there are stuck up rich people kind of like yourself, then go right ahead."

I gave her a fake smile and she turned around and started to walk out.

I yelled behind her.

"Remember, you still owe this month's board!"

She turned around with a scowl.

"Yes, I know. Besides, ya'll need all the money ya'll can get."

She slammed the door and walked off.

Great. That's one less boarder and one less to give lessons to. Dad will probably be furious that we just lost some great money.

I decided to brush the thought off and walked out to where the kids were waiting.

"Okay guys. Let's start our lesson!" I said cheerfully.

I spent the next hour just making sure the children didn't get killed and the horses didn't get hurt. These little kids were hard to keep up with and of course they didn't get anything accomplished. I yelled things like "Don't hit Abigail with your crop Tori!" and "Don't yank your pony in the mouth Gabby!" It was very unproductive but interesting to watch!

When the lesson was over I helped them take care of their ponies. I looked at my watch and saw that it was close to twelve. Dad said him and Adam would be here by two. I gave another lesson and then decided to ride Garnet.

I brought her out of her stall and started to brush her down and saddle her when the phone rang. I hurried over to answer it.

"Midland Farms."

"Hey Olivia," Dad said happily.

"Hey," I replied.

"Just calling to tell you we'll be there in about an hour or so. Just picked Adam up from the airport."

"Okay Dad, got a go! By!"

"Wait! Why are you trying to get rid of me?" he laughed.

"I need to ride before ya'll get here."

"Who are you riding?"

There was no end to this pointless conversation!

"Garnet."

"Oh," he said disappointedly. "Well, how are things going?"

"Great," I lied. I didn't want to upset him with the news about the customer we lost.

"Ok. Well, see you soon."

"By Dad."

I hung up the phone and went back into the aisle. I put on her bridle, grabbed my helmet, and walked into the outdoor arena.

I warmed her up a bit with just little things and eventually raised the jumps higher. She was doing really well and I decided to raise them even higher.

I was finishing with my last course when I saw Dad pull up in his truck.

I jumped off and headed out of the arena towards the truck when I saw this guy step out of the passenger's side.

This couldn't be Adam could it?

I was shocked in place; as I saw this guy, actually, more like an Abercrombie God, walk over towards me.

His beautiful face caught mine and I couldn't stop my eyes from staring. His dark brown hair was amazing and his eyes, gorgeous! He walked so steady and perfect, almost like a model.

There was no way this was the little boy who used to pull my hair and lock me in closets. And he definitely wasn't little! Close to 6'3 with muscles so defined you could almost see them through his shirt. He was definitely the type of guy that could pull off what ever he was wearing! Heck, he mesmerized me in just jeans and a t-shirt!

Wow! This was not what I was expecting. And I'm sure I looked great with stained riding pants, a dirty polo, and hay in my hair!

"Adam, this is my daughter Olivia."

Dad was always good in awkward conversations like this.

"Hi," I said with a smile.

"Hey," he said casually. He smiled too, but his was breathtaking.

"Well, I'll leave you two kids to it and meet up with ya'll back at the house."

"Ok. By Dad."

"By Mr. Cheek."

I started nervously. "Let me get this horse put up and then I can show you around."

"Sounds good."

There he goes with that smile again! I'm surprised I'm still breathing at this point!

We walked into the barn and I unsaddled quickly and put her away.

"Wow, this place is pretty big. Now wonder ya'll need help around here."

"Yeah, thirty stalls and nearly fifty horses are hard to manage by myself!" I laughed.

"Well, you've definitely grown up Livi."

He was looking me over. Probably staring at my nasty clothes! I decided to answer him before I started hypervinalating.

"Me! What about you! The last time I saw you, you locked me in closets and called be Butt Cheek!"

He laughed.

"And the last time I saw you, you beat me up with a baseball bat!"

"Yeah, but you forget the reason I did that was because of you putting gum in my hair!," I said with a smile.

We were laughing pretty hard now and I couldn't understand how I was actually having a conversation with him. I hadn't talked this much in months.

"I guess I need to show you what to do."

"That would probably be helpful." He said with a smile.

Not only did he have amazing looks, he had an amazing personality too!

"Ok. So, every morning we feed, clean stalls, and rotate horses. And we do it in that order. Next, we give fresh water, and give hay. You do this twice a day. Once when you get here, and once before you leave. Except the water, that's three times a day. Got it so far?"

He looked a little confused but he was a guy, he'd never admit it.

"I think I'm kind of catching on." He laughed.

Wow! A guy that actually admits his feelings! What more can you ask for?

"Don't worry. I'll help you tonight and tomorrow as much as I can. I'll be busy tomorrow though with lessons since it's Saturday and all."

"Will you introduce me to the horses?" he asked with a smile. He was right beside me and I could here my heart in my chest about to burst out.

"Well, just the ones in the barn. We'll finish the rest tomorrow." I smiled up at him and he nodded. I walked over to the first stall.

" This one is Topper," I pointed to a big brown horse.

He didn't look intimidated by them, but calm and relaxed. Apparently he'll be good around horses, which is a definite plus!

"That grey one is Jasper…"

We went on through the barn and we patted the horses as we went until I came up to Flint.

"This is Flint." I said in a quiet voice.

I didn't pat him or even look at him, but instead I looked at the floor. Adam had a look of suspicion and curiosity in his eyes but I ignored it. He patted Flint and I moved on quickly.

"And this is Dawson." I said with a weak smile.

I gave him a kiss on the nose.

"I can tell he's your favorite," Adam said with a smile.

"Yeah, my mom bought him for me when I was seven. He was the best jumper to ever come through Midland."

"Was?" he asked confused.

"Yeah, he's retired now. Has been for six months. I love this horse though. We won every possible ribbon out there together. He's definitely taught me a lot."

"So he's the spoiled one of this stable huh?" he laughed.

"Yeah, basically." I smiled.

Ok… I had to stop doing this! Just because I met some cute guy doesn't mean I need to start talking to him like this!

I quickly erased the smile and went to the feed room.

"It's kind of early to feed but I'm going to get all these chores done early so we can go home and you can get settled in. Your probably tired."

"Yeah, and I'm not really dressed to work today if that's…"

"Oh no that's ok. I wasn't going to make you anyway. I was just going to let you kind of shadow me. Besides, I already look the part with the dirty clothes. And I think the hay in the hair adds some touch to it. Don't you think?" I laughed.

"Yea." He laughed. "But it works for you. You know, most girls would die out here. But I don't know. Your just…different."

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "Different."

"But in a good way," he smiled at me, his body almost touching mine. I couldn't even remember what I was going to do because he completely made me forget everything! I could feel this electric shock going through my body and I wondered if he could feel it too.

It took my close to thirty minutes but I finally finished with Adam trailing behind me the whole time.

I was starting to close the doors when I remembered the tack room light.

We walked back in there and our hands went up for the light switch at the same time.

An electric shock went through my body at the thought of touching him. This moment with him felt so amazing.

"Sorry," he said with a smile.

I couldn't even think of anything to say. We were standing there in the dark, our hands still touching, and I couldn't even breath, let alone think. His body was so close to mine and I could feel his breath on mine.

"Uh…that's…uh…fine." I said like the biggest idiot on Earth!

He took his hand away and so did I. We started for the doors when I heard a whinny. I knew who's it was and I didn't even turn around.

"I think Flint's trying to get your attention," Adam said with a laugh.

"Yeah, he does that sometimes."

I didn't even glance back and my face had a blank stare on it. Immediately I saw Adam's face drop.

_Good job! Now you're going to scare of one of the only good things in your life!_

We walked to my car and got in.

"Man this is nice," Adam said.

"Yeah, it was a gift from my dad when I turned sixteen. A 2004 Xterra."

He looked a little stunned.

"It's definitely a good looking car."

"Oh come on. You have just as much money as I do. Don't you have a good car?" I laughed.

"Not really. I got Sean's hand-me-down truck. It's pretty bad."

We just laughed for a moment. And I felt like Adam's mind was somewhere else and debating whether to bring up the subject he was thinking about. I decided to break the silence.

"So how's Sean doing?" I asked curiously.

"Pretty good I guess. He's got excepted to some really big colleges already and he's partying up his senior year."

Adam was smiling at me again.

I was trying to be happy again. But with Adam, I didn't have to try that hard. I hadn't felt like this is a long time.

"That's good."

Adam laughed.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"Oh nothing. I just remember when we were kids that you liked Sean."

Great, of course he's going to bring up an embarrassing topic! I tried to laugh to show him I knew he was just playing around.

"Yeah. But that was a while ago."

"Do you still like him?" he asked awkwardly.

"What? No! I haven't seen him in years! Why do you ask?"

I was getting really confused.

"Just wondering," he said with a mumble.

I was really wondering what made him bring that topic up! And then I remembered some of the old times again.

"Do you remember when Sean used to call you ADD all the time?" I asked with a laugh.

Adam laughed too.

"He still does."

Now I was laughing really hard.

"Ya'll are such brothers!"

I pulled up to the house and I could here Adam take in a deep breath.

"You live here?" he asked surprised.

I pulled up in the driveway.

"Yeah. Why?"

His eyes were big now and I was amused with the look on his face.

"It's huge!"

"Yeah. Almost too big. With Mom gone we're struggling with the payments every month."

_Did I just say that? I'm so stupid!_

I got out with Adam behind me and headed up to the house. When I came through the door, Dad was sitting on the couch.

"Hey kids! I made burgers if you want some."

He smiled up at us.

"Thanks Dad," I said weakly.

"Thanks," Adam said politely.

I walked over, made my burger, and sat at the table. I was tired from getting up so early and having to take care of the horses by myself and I just wanted to get upstairs and go to bed. Adam seemed like he was ready to call it a night too. I said good night to Dad and headed upstairs with Adam.

We made it up to his room and I opened the door to where he was staying.

"Well, this is it. It looks like Dad already brought your bags up here so all you have to do is unpack."

I was disappointed that I wouldn't see him again for the rest of the night.

"This is definitely more than I expected."

I smiled up at him. He really was a nice guy.

"I'm glad you like it. If you need anything I'll be next door. See you in the morning."

I walked over to my room and pulled on some clothes to sleep in and the whole time while I was doing this, I was self-conscious. As if Adam could here my every move. But that wasn't possible. Was it?

I shook the thought off and got into bed. I decided to dive into a good book for an hour and just try to relax. But I was far from relaxing. There were so many changes going on around me and…I'm not good with change. Practically everyone knows that.

I let my mind drift to Adam. How sweet he was. How gorgeous he was. How funny he was. I just couldn't stop thinking about him. He was just so…so perfect!

I felt the sudden urge to see him again and started to think of a lame excuse to go over there. When I thought of one, I jumped out of bed and went over to his room. I knocked before I went in and he was just standing there, in his room, with ONLY basketball shorts on. I was just about thrown into shock again at realizing how perfect his body was WITHOUT clothes! I became light headed again and could barely stand up with my knees trying to buckle. I decided to lean on the doorframe for support.

"Uh…Hey," I said out of breath.

He just smiled at me, the most beautiful sight ever! My mental image of earlier didn't do him justice.

"Hey. What's up?"

And did I mention how sexy his voice was? That beautiful, velvet, soft voice. It made it even harder to stand up.

"Uh…I just wanted to say that we need to be at the uh…barn at uh…seven so we need to leave by uh six forty-five. If that's okay?"

I still couldn't even manage a sentence at this point.

"Yeah. That's fine. Don't let me get you off your regular scheduale though. Do whatever you would usually do. " He said with his gorgeous smile.

"Okay. See you in the morning then."

I closed the door before I could make a bigger fool of myself. I acted like a complete idiot in there! Next time I need to have a mental plan that way if I get traumatized by his shirtless body again I at least have an outline to refer back to!

I got back to my room and sat in bed with the lights out.

I hated this point of my day. The part where I'm laying in bed and my mind starts to wonder over the horrible thoughts I try so hard to keep out during the day. No matter how hard I tried, they just wouldn't go away.

My mind suddenly thought of Mom.

I started having flashbacks of the accident, the storm, and Flint. I remember Mom paying attention to the road and how hard it was to see with the pelting rain. Then I remembered seeing her in the hospital, so fragile and breakable, with me untouched and only a scratch on my face and arm. I screamed until the nurse finally gave up and let me go see her. And then I remembered her funeral, and how it was one of the worst days of my life. How I had to listen to the horrible music. And how the preacher was saying good things about my mom when he didn't even know her. And I remember running out before the service was even over.

Then the endless questions that I would never know the answer of started to creep into my head.

Why did we have to go that day?

Why did it have to rain?

Why were we at that exact spot at that exact time?

And the most hurtful Why of all came into my head again.

Why did God take my mom away from me?

Everyone says, "Oh it's all part of his plan."

What plan! What about my plan! Because my mom dieing while I was only seventeen was certainly not part of MY plan! She should have been teaching until she was sixty. And then retiring on the farm and dieing an old lady. Not now, not like this. It hurts so much to think that I won't have a mom for the rest of my life. That she's not here anymore with me.

It's still hard for me to wake up every morning knowing that when I go downstairs, she won't be waiting for me like she used to all those mornings. I'm completely on my own and no one is going to change that feeling.

I wasn't going to be able to stop them this time. These tears that I'm so used to now. They started rolling down my face and onto my pillow endlessly.

I started to sob quietly and hoped that no one could here, especially Adam. I didn't want him to think I was a baby.

I needed to act strong. Not only for my dad but also for myself. The more I tried to be strong, the longer I could block the tears and memories out, if only for a short time.

I cried for a while longer until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion. This night was nothing new. I was used to crying myself to sleep at this point. I just wondered how much longer this would go on before it stopped.


	3. Chapter 3: The First Day

The next morning I woke up late and rushed around my room trying to find something to wear

The next morning I woke up late and rushed around my room trying to find something to wear. I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I finished and ran downstairs to see Adam looking at me with a smug smile.

"Why are you so late," he teased playfully.

"Very funny." I said with a smile.

Even in the morning he still looked just as beautiful!

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Pretty good. Except you kept me up some of the night. Do you know you scream in your sleep?"

I looked at him shyly.

Crap!

What did he here?

"You'll get used to it Adam!" yelled my dad from the living room. "She does it almost every night!"

Great! It's not even seven o'clock and I've been embarrassed already today!

I grabbed a chocolate muffin and headed out the door. Apparently Adam had already eaten!

I got in the car and drove to the barn, enjoying the silence. I always liked a silent morning. And this wasn't one of those awkward silences. Actually, there never was an awkward silence with him. We were just so comfortable around each other that it didn't bother us.

When I got to the barn, I helped him feed and then decided to make a list for him to follow for the day.

Clean all the stalls.

Give fresh water and check all water troughs.

Throw out hay

Sweep isle

Put Lyla in wash rack for me to wrap leg after 2nd lesson

Groom Flint and Dawson (oil their feet)

Give Donavan and Popcorn baths

Come to me when done.

I left it in the tack room and decided to go help Adam when the phone rang.

"Midland Farms."

"Olivia Cheek."

Oh no. This was bad. Dad never says my name like that unless he's really upset. I tried to act casual.

"Yeah Dad?"

"Why didn't you tell me the Davis's moved over to Cleveland Farms!"

Wow. He was really mad!

"I don't know. You were just so stressed the other day having to fire Mike and all that I didn't want to lay more on you."

"You should have told me!"

"I know Dad. I'm sorry."

He started to calm down a little when he heard how composed and collected I was. I still felt bad about him having to find out like this.

"Just please promise me that next time you will tell me as soon as possible."

He was trying to make his voice sound calmer now.

"I promise. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"It's okay honey. Anyway, I have to go now. Have a good day."

"By."

I walked out of the office a few moments later and I must have had an upset look on my face because Adam suddenly looked serious.

"What's wrong?"

I just tried to smile and shake it off.

"Oh nothing. Dad was just kind of upset about a boarder leaving. That's all."

"Are you sure?" Adam was curious now.

"Yeah. No big deal. I left you a list in the office. I'll be back later," I said walking off towards the arena before he could ask any more questions.

My first lesson was with an older woman, probably thirty, who was working well with her new horse. Later on I had a teenage girl younger than me come in who I helped with her jumping technique. All in all it was a productive day so far.

I was kind of bummed that I didn't get to see Adam as much as I would have liked but I got to see him for a short time while I was in the barn helping a little girl and her clueless mom saddle up a pony.

"Ok. Now, this girth is way to big. You see that black horse by that nice man over there?"

The little girl looked over and nodded.

"This is the kind of girth that fits that big horse. You need a smaller one for this pony. Go get the smallest one in the tack room that you can find."

The mom just stood there clueless and I could here Adam standing by Flint and trying hard not to laugh. I couldn't blame him. The mom looked petrified as if this pony was a demon and she could get killed any moment. She was definitely not comfortable around horses.

Her daughter was the exact opposite though. She ran around them and didn't care that she was putting herself in dangerous situations.

"Ok. You can't run under the horse like that. You'll scare him." I said to her in a friendly voice.

She obviously didn't care because she just kept running around and Adam had to stand on the other side of Flint because he was laughing so hard at this point.

After they left, I went into the barn and sat down in the office. Despite how cold it was I was sweating from having to keep up with that child and reassuring her mom at the same time! I got a Coke out of the fridge and started looking at a magazine. I still had three more lessons today. Oh joy!

Just then Adam walked in.

"Hey," he said with his gorgeous smile.

"Hey," I said with exasperation.

He just laughed. Did I mention how beautiful his laugh was too?

"Did you enjoy your lesson?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah," I said with exhaustion.

We were both laughing by this point and I loved every moment of this. I loved just being around Adam. He made my whole day seem like it had meaning to it and I was growing close to him in no time.

"Hey. Do you want to go out for lunch or something?" I asked shyly.

He just smiled at me.

"That would be great."

We decided to go to a Mexican restaurant nearby that I went to weakly. It used to be Mom's favorite.

I walked in and got us a table.

As soon as I sat down I noticed Jennifer, the most popular girl in school/my former friend, look over here.

She looked at me like she couldn't believe someone as gorgeous as Adam was hanging around with me. I couldn't blame her. It practically blew my mind too.

Our waiter came and took our orders. As soon as he left, I leaned into Adam.

"See that girl over there with the brunette hair standing up beside the blond?"

I looked at him and waited for his eyes to settle on her. He looked back at me.

"Yeah."

I was whispering real quietly now.

"She goes to my school and has been eyeing you for the past five minutes. I think they're about to leave but in a couple of seconds she's about to come over and give you here best flirtatious act."

He just looked at me amused.

"Really."

"Yeah. And she's pretty popular. We used to be good friends."

"Used to be?"

Before I could answer Jennifer came over to us.

"Hey Livi!" she said with too much enthusiasm in her high pitch, girly voice. "How are you?"

I was waiting for her to get through her small talk and ask who Adam was.

"Good." I said boringly.

It didn't dull her mood a bit. She just kept looking at Adam.

"That awesome! So who's your friend?"

"I'm Adam," he said with a smile. And not just _a_ smile. _His_ smile. The one he used towards me that made my heart stop.

"Hi! I'm Jennifer! Do you live around here?" She said in her most flirty voice and she started leaning on the table towards him. I was getting jealous now.

"I guess you could say that. I'll be living with Livi for the next six months."

She looked shocked, but recovered quickly. I couldn't help but smile though.

"Well, that's…interesting. What school are you going to go to?"

"Madison High."

This brought on a whole new serge of squeals.

"That's where I go!" She said with delight. "I'll see you around! And if you need any help, here's my number."

She grabbed his hand and put a small piece of paper in it and then closed it shut. She finished with her cute smile.

"Well, see you soon!"

She walked giddily out of the restaurant, leaving me irritated.

"Well, would you look at that? You haven't even started school yet and you've already got a girls' number!" I was annoyed at this point.

"Yeah. But I don't care."

Adam looked liked he hadn't even noticed that the most gorgeous and popular girl at my school just flung herself at him. Well, he noticed, but he just didn't care. Which was odd. I couldn't figure out why he didn't care. But what can I say? Guys are weird like that sometimes.

He looked up at me and must have seen the shocked look on my face.

"What?" he asked with a laugh and wide eyes.

"Nothing! I'm just surprised. That's all." I said with a smile.

I didn't want him to know I was jealous.

"Surprised at what?"

He wasn't faking. He really was confused.

"That you don't care that the most beautiful and rich girl in school just threw herself at you!"

I was still shocked that he didn't care!

"Oh her? Your way more beautiful than she is."

He was smiling at me now with his stunning eyes and my face felt hot from blushing.

"And besides. She kind of came off to me as the trashy kind."

I laughed.

"Apparently the guys here like that. And you know that horse Garnet I was riding the other day?"

"Yeah," he said a little confused.

"That's her horse. She pays me to ride her twice a week because she doesn't have time to come out herself."

I was looking at him now trying to figure out what his reaction was.

He just gave a small laugh.

"Yeah, she doesn't look like the horse-type. But I guess when you have that much money, you can do whatever you want."

We were staring at each other and I felt that same electric shock go through me. Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this!

Our waiter came with our food and we ate and enjoyed each other's company for a while.

After we were done, we paid and headed back to the barn for afternoon lessons. We were driving along when we started up a conversation.

"I hope that list wasn't too confusing for you. I just kind of wrote things down quickly."

"Oh no. It was fine. Flint is the funniest horse though. He has the most personality I've ever seen in an animal!"

"Yeah. He's a cool horse." I said passive.

"And Dawson, he's pretty amusing. I'll just be grooming him and he'll turn and look at me like I'm the biggest idiot ever!"

We were laughing together now.

"Don't take it personal. He does that to me too and I've had him for nine years. Apparently he still thinks I'm an idiot!"

I hadn't laughed like this in a long time! Unfortunately it had to end because we were coming to the barn and I had a lesson to teach. The rider was already tacked up and in the arena.

I parked the car and got out.

"What do you need me to do now boss?" Adam said with a cute grin.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"You can sit in and watch this lesson if you want. You might learn something."

I winked at him and walked away laughing. He caught up behind and messed with me while he followed me in the arena.

"Hey Ashley. How's it going?"

"Good." She said shyly. I noticed she was looking over and favoring Adam. I decided to get her attention.

"Oh don't mind him! He's just a hired hand that's going to sit in on this lesson and watch."

She looked at me like I'd just caught her doing something bad and I tried hard not to laugh.

"So, what do you want to work on with Ace today?"

She still wasn't paying attention but she finally answered.

"Uh…mostly collection in front of the jumps."

I was getting annoyed now.

"Okay. Go warm up and I'll start you over some smaller fences."

She took off around the arena and I went over to Adam.

"You know, if you're going to be distracting you can always go clean stalls," I said teasingly.

He looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Dazzling people like that."

He looked at me kind of smugly and smiled.

"And do I dazzle you?"

I just looked at him.

"Sometimes." I said smiling.

I walked over and set some jumps up. My head was still filled with air from Adam as I was setting them up.

"Okay!" I yelled. "Bring him over this jump beside me!"

It continued like this for an hour. Ashley paying no attention and staring at Adam, Adam staring at me, and me trying REALLY REALLY hard not to stare at Adam!

When we got done, I walked back into the barn with him.

"You know, because of you, my student got nothing accomplished." I said amused.

"Well I'm sorry she just finds me so attractive," he said with a modeling pose.

I laughed and punched him on the shoulder.

"Ow!" I yelled.

He was finding my painful moment amusing!

"It's not funny!" I yelled laughing. "That hurt! Are you made of stone or something!"

"Well did you expect me to be all soft?"

By now he was practically on the ground laughing.

"You owe me an apology!" I said laughing.

"Me! You're the one that punched me!" he laughed. "But if you really want me to. Livi, I'm sorry your hand hurts from you trying to using me as a punching bag,"

We were both laughing and Ashley had heard the conversation and was now laughing too.

When I could finally catch my breath, I started talking again.

"You can go ahead and feed, water, hay, muck, and all that good stuff while I have my next lesson. That way we can get home early. I only have two left. Can you handle it?"

He just looked at me smugly.

"I can probably handle it better than you since I don't have a hurt hand," he said with a laugh.

"Very funny. I'll teach these next two and we can go home."

I ended up having to only teach one because when I went into the office, I had a message on the machine saying they canceled for the day. I was thrilled because I hadn't ridden a horse all day and I wanted to ride Popcorn before I went home.

I started tacking him up when Adam came over.

"I thought you had a lesson?"

"Yeah I did but they canceled last minute. I haven't ridden all day so I'm going to ride Popcorn before we leave. Is that okay?" I didn't want to annoy him because he was probably ready to get home.

"No. That's fine. I was just curious. Can I watch though? I want to see if this trainer actually knows what she's doing," he winked at me.

I couldn't help but smiled. He really was interested in watching me ride.

I saddled Popcorn and took him out to the arena. When I got there, I raised all the jumps high and got back on.

"You must be insane!" he said.

"And why is that?" I asked curiously.

He just looked at me wide-eyed.

"Your jumping _those_ huge jumps on _that _tiny pony?"

I just looked at him with amusement covering my face.

"Well…yeah."

"And I'll say it again. You are insane!" he laughed.

I jumped on and rode around warming him up. He was pretty frisky since it was so cold out but he was doing well when I headed for the first jump.

He ended up jumping everything perfectly and never even touching a rail. I went back over to wear Adam was sitting with an impressed look on his face.

"Wow. That horse can jump!"

I just laughed.

"Yeah. I love jumping him. It's getting late though and I still need to put blankets on the horses. Let's call it a night."

I jumped off and headed into the barn. We then walked inside and started putting blankets on some of the horses. Some, like my three, are show horses and don't grow winter coats since I groom them regularly. It gets so cold in northern Virginia that they have blankets put on and so do some others.

When we were done for the night, we left and headed home. I was pretty worn out from the busy day so we didn't talk much on the ride home. And when we got inside, I just passed with dinner and went upstairs to take a shower.

When I got back to my room, I saw Adam sitting on my bed. He looked so perfect, just sitting there. I can't believe I used to hate him! I was still surprised though that he was in my room.

"Hey," I said awkwardly.

"Uh…Hey. I hope you don't mind I came in your room and…"

"Oh no! It's fine." I cut him off quickly. "What's up?"

He was smiling again and I was going week at the knees.

"I was just wondering if we're going to go out to the barn early and feed or what? Because I know we'll have to get ready for school and all."

I went over to sit on my bed beside him. Are arms were touching and the feeling of being with him was so strong.

"Yeah. I'm just going to go out there in pajamas and then come back home and get ready. Sound good?"

"Yeah. That's perfect."

We were closer. Our faces just inches apart.

His smile changed now. Like he was admiring something. Then he looked confused.

"I just have one question though."

I wondered what it was.

"And what's that?" I said with a flirtatious smile. This was so wrong. I was flirting with a guy who lives in my house! But I couldn't help it!

"Who's going to be at the barn during the day if we're at school?"

"There are boarders that come through out the day to ride their horses. They'll call me or Dad if something goes wrong."

"And what time are you planning on going out there?" he asked curiously.

"Five-thirty. How fun is that?" I said with a laugh.

"Lot's of fun!" he said sarcastically.

He started to get off my bed and I wished so much that he would stay.

"Ok. Well…I'll see you in the morning. Good night Livi."

"Night," I said with a smile.

He closed my door gently behind him and I waited as I heard him climb into his bead next door. That's the last thing I could remember because after that, I had fallen asleep.


	4. Chapter 4: School

The next morning I made sure I woke up on time

The next morning I made sure I woke up on time. I went downstairs to get something to eat and noticed that Dad was still asleep. I turned on the TV and waited for Adam to get down. Not five minutes later he came down the stairs smiling.

"Well, well, well," he whispered. "Look who's up early?"

I slapped him playfully. "Shut up."

"Just don't hurt you hand again," he laughed.

I was getting used to this easy relationship with Adam. We joked around and just enjoyed having each other by our side. He was someone I could talk to easily and I didn't have to try to be happy around him. He was my sun. And if my sun was to leave, I'd be lost in darkness again.

"Just get in the car!" I laughed.

We drove out to the stables and took care of all the horses. It took about an hour but we finally were finished and drove back to the house to get ready for school.

When we got inside, Dad was up, sitting at the counter and reading the paper. He saw us come in and smiled.

"Aren't ya'll up early!" he laughed.

"Yea. Didn't want to be late for school," I said weakly.

I may act normal around Adam, but there was no way I was going to start acting normal around everyone else. And that included my Dad.

I went upstairs and started putting on makeup and fixing my hair. Thank goodness there was a bathroom in Adam's room or this morning would have been claustrophobic! I picked out a cute outfit and headed back downstairs.

Of course, Adam was waiting for me again.

"You clean up pretty well," he said jokingly.

"Yeah. I probably look a lot different actually wearing makeup and clothes that don't have horse hair all over them!" I laughed.

We drove to school and I pulled in the parking lot.

"Welcome to Madison High," I said with a smile.

I got out and showed him where the office was. Everyone (mostly girls!) was staring at him and trying to find out who he was. This school may be big but everyone knows when someone new comes to our school.

I stopped outside the office with Adam beside me.

"Well, if you don't need anything, ill see you later," I said with a smile.

"Ok. Thanks," he said, giving me that dazzling smile again.

Unwillingly I headed to my locker. I would have given anything to stay by his side. It was like he was a part of me now. My Adam. He was like a drug that I needed and I was addicted.

When I got to first period, everyone was talking about Adam of course. I listened in on their conversations.

"Did you see the new guy? He is so hot!"

"I saw the new guy with Livi. I hope their not going out!"

"I heard his name was Adam."

It went on like this all through my other classes until I headed for lunch.

I grabbed an apple and Coke and sat down at the table with Jennifer. Of course no one talked to me, or even looked at me. I was invisible to everyone. Except Adam. And he was looking at me and heading over to our table. Or I should say their table. Jennifer saw him and yelled.

"Hey Adam! Sit with us!"

Everyone in the cafeteria started a new trend of gossip at seeing that Adam and Jennifer had already met. They started to wonder if they were going out. It would seem perfect. The new hottest guy in school with the most popular girl in school.

He walked over and sat down between one of Jennifer's friends and me. I think her name was Holly. She was a cute, preppy blond and she couldn't resist talking to him.

"So, where are you from?" She said bubbling.

"Oklahoma."

"Wow! That's a ways from here! What brought you up here?" She was excited that Adam was interested in her. Or, at least she thought.

"I'm staying up here with Livi."

Even at the sound of my name, no one even bothered to glance at me. As if I wasn't sitting right beside him.

She leaned over towards him and whispered, thinking I wouldn't here, but I heard every word.

"Well, that must be boring."

Adam looked back at her confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after her mom died, Livi doesn't speak to anyone. I mean, absolutely no one. But I thought you would have noticed that by now."

He looked over at me with curiousness in his eyes like he was looking at me in a different sperspective. I was looking down at the table, spinning the coke bottle around my fingertip.

"Huh," he said still looking at me. "I didn't notice."

After that, Jennifer jumped in and they got on a lighter topic. Lunch went on like this and I just sat there, not saying anything. When the bell sounded, I got up with them and headed off to class. Adam stopped me before I could make it to my locker. He looked really concerned. I couldn't understand why though.

"What's wrong Livi?" I could tell by his eyes that he really was worried about me. But I had to wonder why he cared about me that much. Maybe he was just being a good friend. Maybe that's what all this has been all along. He was just being a good friend. I felt stupid now, standing there, thinking that it had ever been more than that.

"Nothing." I lied weakly and walked off. Hs expression went from sad to hurt and I felt horrible for making his day so stressful. I was making things so difficult.

I went to my next class and what do you know! Adam was in my class! Actually, he was in my last three classes of the day. And throughout all of them, I could feel him looking at me intently, trying to figure out why I was acting this way. No one else cared, or even noticed. They were used to this behavior. But he wasn't. Because for the short time I'd known him, I was the person I used to be. The person before that horrible accident changed me. And I had opened up to him and brought out my true self. Now, I was back to how I used to be.


	5. Chapter 5: Hurt

It continued like this for another two weeks

It continued like this for another two weeks. I ignored him and everyone around me. My dad was disappointed. He had begun to think I had come back to my old self. But no. I just focused on giving lessons, riding some horses (not Flint), and homework.

But school went on and Adam fit right in with Jennifer and the rest of the preps. He made friends and practically every girl liked him. Every couple of days in the car he would try to get me to tell him why I was acting like this but I just gave him a lame excuse and he finally dropped it for good. He was confused at how I was acting and I could tell I had upset him. I had taken his friend away from him. And I had taken my one good friend away from myself. I was starting to get scared he'd give up on me too, just like everyone else. Then where would I be? I felt horrible for treating him like that.

Until one day after school.

I walked out to my car and got in. I was waiting for Adam to walk out of the doors but he was late for some reason. I started searching around and suddenly my eyes fell on the corner of the school where I saw him and Jennifer making out. She was pressed up against the wall and enjoying every second, with her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands were tightly placed on her small waist.

Pain shot through my entire body within seconds. It hurt so badly but for some reason I couldn't tear my eyes away from them.

When I had gathered more control, I pulled out of the parking lot fast and recklessly, everyone staring at me like I was insane. Well, actually, like I was more insane than I already was.

I could see Adam through my rearview mirror looking at me with shock. He had had no idea I was waiting for him and had seen them.

I didn't care at this point. And he was popular enough by now he could find a ride home. I sure as heck wasn't driving him!

I pulled into the stables and ran into the barn. I went to Dawson's stall and sat in the corner.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. The tears started streaming down my face without warning and I couldn't stop them. I feel like such an idiot! I can't believe I thought for one second that he actually was interested in me. That he may actually like me! And then of course I had to go and blow him off which made him move right on to Jennifer! Not only did I feel stupid, but I was also embarrassed! I felt like an even bigger idiot sitting here and crying over some stupid boy like I was twelve years old or something.

Dawson came over and but his nose down by my face. His eyes were sensitive and caring and at that moment, I really wished that Mom were here. She would comfort me and wrap her arms around me tightly. But she wasn't here. And I had to get that through me head. I had to be strong.

I got up and came out of Dawson's stall. The ten year old that was having a four o'clock lesson came into the barn and I had to pull myself together quickly. I wiped my eyes on my shirt and went up to her.

"Hey Brooke!" I said with a fake smile. "Get Rambo ready quickly and I'll be waiting in the arena."

She just looked at me weird.

"Are you all right Mrs. Livi?"

Crap. I hadn't pulled my act together good enough.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just allergies. Go get ready."

I left the barn and headed towards the outdoor arena. I set jumps up and moments later she came out with her horse.

We were half way through the lesson when I noticed Jennifer's car pull up with Adam in the passenger's seat. Great! Out of all the people he could have asked to give him a ride over here, he asked Jennifer!

I was fuming by this point and he got out of the car in a rush. I pretended to ignore him and focus on the girl.

"Good Brooke! Make sure to keep you're heels down! Come over this red and white jump!"

He rushed over to me.

"Livi, why did you leave me like that! And why did you peel out of there so fast! I had to find someone to catch a ride with!"

I turned to him in utter shock. Apparently he wasn't perfect after all.

"Don't even think you can yell at me!"

I was really mad now and I was yelling at him with two weeks worth of bottled up feelings.

"I'm sorry that I left you at the school but I had responsibilities to fulfill and so do you but apparently you don't care!"

By now Brooke had stopped her horse and was listening to my little rampage.

"You could have at least came and found me," he said annoyed.

"Oh I waited for you. And then I started to look around for you but I guess you didn't see me because you were too busy making out with Jennifer!"

I was really mad now and had screamed every last word.

His face suddenly changed from mad to distressed when he realized.

"You saw that." He didn't say it as a question, but more as a statement.

"Yeah. I did," I said a little more quietly. I guess he hadn't seen me looking at them after all when I rushed out of there. Maybe he just saw me leave.

"Look Livi, she came on to me and…"

"You know what! Save it!"

I was mad that he would even deny he wasn't into that kiss!

"But Livi.."

"I said, save it! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some responsibilities to take care of, and I believe you do too."

With that, I turned my back to him and focused on Brooke.

"I'm terribly sorry for the interruption. Let's begin where we left off."

She just looked at me with wide eyes, as she took in what she had just seen and heard. She finally nodded and started again.

Later that afternoon, I took Dawson on a trail ride so that I could get away from Adam and all that had happened between us. I had been trying to avoid him as much as possible.

When I got back, he had finished up for the night and was waiting.

I unsaddled "D" and put him up for the night.

We headed to the truck in absolute silence. All the way home, I focused completely on the road, not even glancing at Adam. He just looked out the window, not looking at me either.

I pulled into the driveway and went into the house.

"Well, hey kiddo. Where's Adam?"

I ignored him and walked straight up to my room. I heard Adam walk in moments later and I heard my dad.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked.

Adam sounded uncomfortable. Good. He deserved it!

"Uh…something happened at school today."

They left it at that and I went to take a shower. I turned the shower knob until ice-cold water was pelting down on my face. I got out a little later and went into my room. I was getting under the covers when I heard a knock on the door.

"What," I said annoyed.

"Can I come in?" Adam asked timidly.

"No," I said angrily.

He ignored me and opened the door anyway. It was dim in my room with only a lamp on so I couldn't make out his expression from that far away.

"I said no."

"I know." He said a little wounded. "I need to talk to you."

I just rolled my eyes and sat down. A couple of moments later he sat down beside me.

"I just want to say I'm sorry for going off like that on you when I got to the stables today."

He was looking down at his hands. He looked really uncomfortable and vulnerable at that moment.

"And what you saw today with me and Jennifer, that had nothing to do with me. I promise. She came onto me."

"That's not what it looked like to me Adam," I said hurt.

"Please, trust me Livi. I pushed her off of me moments after it happened."

Something about how his voice sounded made me want to forgive him. He sounded like he was telling the truth. I couldn't ignore the feeling.

"Well, if you didn't like it so much then why did you ask her to give you a ride over here?" I said with an attitude.

He just ignored it and kept on going.

"Because, most people had already left and I was so worried about how you drove out so quickly that I was just trying to get to you as fast as I could."

Whoa. That was a pretty good answer. I couldn't believe I had been so wrong about this.

"Wow Adam. I'm really sorry for jumping to conclusions. And for leaving you. I feel really bad."

"Let's just forget this whole thing happened. Okay?"

I was looking into his gorgeous eyes now. I could only give one answer.

"Okay." I smiled.

I decided to bring up a lighter subject.

"But just so you know, Jennifer is definitely not your type." I said with a smile.

"And why is that?" he laughed.

"She just isn't."

"Are you jealous?" He asked teasingly.

"No!" I said shocked.

"It's ok if you are." He said with a crooked smile.

"I'm not!" I said defensively.

"Not even a little?" he said with a cute grin.

"No!" I yelled.

"Okay. Whatever you say." He was laughing now and walking towards the door.

He totally didn't buy it one bit!

"Well, it's late and I'll let you go to bed." He said with a smile.

"Okay."

Moments later he was back in his room, and I was falling asleep from the exhaustion of today's events.


	6. Chapter 6: Noninvisible Again

The next morning we were on our way to school

The next morning we were on our way to school. This was one of the first times in weeks Adam and I had spoken.

"You know you were yelling in your sleep again last night?" he said.

"Yeah. I had a nightmare. It happens a lot. Sorry."

He ignored my apology and kept going on with his train of thought.

"I heard you yell the words Mom, and Flint, and a lot of other things."

I had become numb now. I can't believe he'd heard all that.

That day at school, I decided it was time to open up to everyone.

I went to sit down at lunch, between Adam and Jennifer.

He looked over at me and smiled.

"Hey," he said with a cute grin.

"Hey," I said breathless.

Jennifer started up on some lame topic about her new hair products and I decided to listen in on another conversation.

Holly was talking about her favorite TV show that came on last night.

"And I loved the part where her and Matt kissed at the dance!"

I decided it was a good time to but in.

"I watched that last night too," I said with some enthusiasm.

At that moment, everyone at our table turned to me and stared. They couldn't believe I'd just said something. Adam decided to help me out.

"I saw it too, I thought it was pretty lame."

He just looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

They were still looking at me with unbelief, but started to accept the fact that I was ready to socialize.

For the next couple of days, they started including me in conversations and actually looking at me again. I hadn't spoken in nearly four months. I was surprised at how quickly they opened their arms back up to me. All except Jennifer. She absolutely hated me and I had no idea why.

But I had good friends like Adam and a really nice girl named Angela who was talking to me like I was a friend they spoke to everyday.

It went on like this for a week and people were still a little surprised but they were getting used to the old me coming back. Even my teachers got over their bewildered looks and started including me again.

On Friday at lunch, Mike Stewart asked me out on a date. I guess me acting like myself opened up a lot of doors.

I could see Adam tense up out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't figure out why. I knew he didn't like me like that and I was starting to get the fact drilled into my brain.

I told Mike I'd go as friends but that I wasn't into dating anyone right now. He agreed that was fine but I could tell he wasn't really getting the memo.

Later that night, Adam and I were finishing up in the barn.

"Hey," I said walking up to him.

"Hey," he smiled warmly.

"Uh… Mike Stewart kind of asked me to go to the movies with him tonight and I'm afraid he's thinking of it like a date. Would you mind going with me to make it kind of a group thing instead?" I asked timidly.

He looked at me and smiled, almost with, what I thought to be relief.

It couldn't though, could it?

"Sure. If you want me to."

"I want you to." I said with a smile.

We finished up in the barn and went home. I took a shower and got ready to go out and so did Adam.

Dad was surprised when I told him I was going out to the movies. I hadn't been out to a social event since before Mom died and he was beaming at me.

Mike drove up in his four-door truck and I saw his face fall when Adam was waiting with me.

I went up to him nervously.

"Uh…Adam decided he wanted to go with us and I told him it was fine. I hope that was okay?" I looked at him.

"Yeah, that's fine," he said disappointed.

Apparently he was considering this thing a date and I was relieved I had brought Adam with me.

I felt bad for doing that to Mike, but I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

We were on the way to the movies and Mike talked the whole time. All I had to do was sit there and listen. Occasionally I said things like "Yeah" and "Oh" and he just kept on going.

Adam found this amusing and sat there with a grin on his face the whole time.

We walked into the theatre and Mike was trying to make sure he was going to sit next to me. And so was Adam.

I ended up having to sit in between them, which was a good thing since they needed to be separated! I was afraid they'd kill each other if I didn't!

But I couldn't figure out why Adam was acting like this. It was as if he liked me as more than a friend. But that was impossible. After seeing him and Jennifer together, I knew I was crazy for thinking that. He was just being a good friend because he knew I didn't like Mike that way and he didn't want me in uncomfortable situations. A good friend. That's all.

I ended up sitting through the entire movie with my arms crossed. That way it was impossible for Mike to grab my hand or make a move. Adam just sat there and tried not to laugh. I also leaned back into my seat as far as I could that way he couldn't put his arm around me.

I think he got the idea but on the car ride home, he started talking to me again.

Adam had decided he wasn't just going to sit there and not say anything this time. He was going to make this situation uncomfortable on purpose. And I was going to kill him for doing it afterward.

We were driving along and Mike started asking me questions.

"So, what music do you listen to?" He asked curiously and nicely.

"Uh. I don't know. Nothing really." I said awkwardly.

"You don't listen to music! Come on!" he said with a laugh.

I guess Adam saw a perfect time to but in.

"Livi doesn't like music." He said casually.

I stared at Adam, surprised. I'd never told him that.

He went on.

"One of the things I learned about you is that you don't like listening to music. You start to get this weird expression on your face. Kind of like your annoyed but sometimes even sad," he said looking at me with his deep eyes.

"Livi?" Mike asked annoyed.

"He's right," I mumbled, still looking at Adam's serene profile.

I couldn't help but stare at him.

As if I was that easy to figure out? A puzzle that could be cracked in, how long had it been, a couple of weeks? I had never even told him I didn't like music. Maybe he had just noticed. His statement really made me stop and think.

I was looking at him now though, with a shocked expression on my face. I couldn't believe he knew that much about me. I had to wonder what else he knew.

He didn't seem to notice my expression and neither did Mike. After that little conversation, it made Mike finally shut him up for the night.

Hepulled up outside my house and I was relieved this night was over. I was more relieved to get the two of them away from each other. It was one of the most awkward nights of my life!

I went up to my room and a couple of minutes later, Adam came in. I was glad he had come in, because I wanted to talk to him about a lot of things!

"Hey," I said, patting the bed, motioning for him to sit down.

He came over and sat across from me.

"Hey." He said smiling. "So did you have fun on your date?" he laughed.

"Shut up!" I said laughing.

"That's what I thought. I could tell by the way you crossed your arms and leaned back in your chair through the entire movie. You made it impossible for him to make a move, which by the way, can really hurt a guy's ego," he said with a laugh.

I just looked at him shocked. I couldn't believe he could notice that much. I was about to ask him what was on my mind when he pulled my concentration back over to him.

"It's getting quite late so I'll just see you in the morning," he said with a smile.

He was walking out when he studied a weird expression on my face.

"Is there something on your mind?" he asked curious.

I decided now was not the time to ask him about my thoughts.

"No. Why?"

He just laughed.

"Cause you just got that look on your face when you get serious and your thinking really hard."

"It's nothing," I said trying to brush it off.

"Well, good night," he said smiling.

"Night."


	7. Chapter 7: What Happened That Day

I woke up Saturday and was busy with lessons throughout the entire day

I woke up Saturday and was busy with lessons throughout the entire day. I barely even say Adam and the one time I got a break, I had to ride Garnet. I didn't even eat lunch.

The day had finally passed and we were finishing up with the horses.

I had told Dad we'd be late and to eat dinner without us. It was definitely a crazy day. And I was right. While I watched Adam put the last blanket on one of the horses, I looked outside where it was pitch black now.

I went over to sit on the stairs to the loft. A couple of minutes later, he climbed half way up and came to sit beside me.

"Livi, I can tell there's something on your mind. Will you please tell me?"

I stared into his eyes and saw thoughtfulness spread throughout them with deep concern.

"Yeah. There has been something I've been thinking about," I said slowly.

"Then what is it?" he asked encouragingly.

"You'll probably laugh at me and think it's stupid," I said shrugging it off.

He took my face in his hand and brought it up to meet his eyes. I almost had to loom away with the amount of intensity there was in them.

"I would never laugh at you or think something that is bothering you is stupid."

He was looking straight into my eyes.

It took me a couple of moments to recover, but then I went on.

"Well, I've just been wondering about how you know so much about me."

He just looked at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Like the other night with Mike, and the whole thing about me not liking music."

He was looking at me now, with a gentle expression.

"I'm not an idiot Livi," he said with a smile. "I've ridden with you lots of times and you have not once ever turned the radio on."

I had to wonder what else he had discovered about me.

"And what else do you know about me?" I asked with a teasing smile.

He smiled back with relief now, knowing what I was thinking.

"Well, I noticed you bite your bottom lip when you are in uncomfortable situations. And, you twitch your nose when you're pretending to think about something but your really not. I also noticed that you love sour gummy worms but absolutely hate peanut m&ms."

I was shocked that he had known that much about me. And I had never told him any of those things before. He just happened to notice on his own just by watching me. It was sweet, and cute, and I couldn't help but blush.

"Wow Adam. I had no idea you knew that much about me," I said a little quietly.

I noticed he look over towards Flint, and back at me.

"I also noticed that you don't like Flint. You don't look at him, pet him, ride him, or anything."

I suddenly grew very numb and cold. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Not here. Not with Adam! I tried to control them and they finally went back down. Before I could say anything, Adam got really serious.

"Livi, since you asked me what's been on your mind, I was wondering if I could ask you something."

He was looking at me with curious, caring eyes.

"Yeah," I said casually.

I couldn't come up with any idea to what he might ask.

"Why were you acting so strange at school? And why was everyone treating you like you don't exist? It was like you were invisible. And then when you talked that day at the lunch table, their mouths fell open when they realized you said something. What exactly was going on?"

"It's a long story," I said as an excuse.

"We have all night," he said caring.

I took in a deep breath. It was time I told him what was going on. He was the only person I let myself grow close to and he was the only person I was going to tell the real truth to.

"I used to be popular Adam. I used to be Jessica's best friend. I went to all the parties, had lots of friends, and even a good-looking boyfriend. After my mom died, everything changed. I was walking around lifeless and after a while, my friends and teachers gave up on me. It went on like this for months. And then you got here," I said slowly.

I could feel the tears coming back.

"You changed my life Adam. I became myself again the more I hung around you. I was changing back to how I used to be."

I paused. I couldn't go on that much longer. Just then Adam took me by surprise.

"But why Livi?" he asked confused. "Why was your mother's death so hard for you?"

My tears started spilling over like waterfalls. I was sobbing now and I couldn't control my breathing.

"Because it was all my fault. If it wasn't for me, she'd still be alive right now," I said out of breath.

I looked into his eyes. They were filled with compassion and sadness.

"You see, Mom was helping me look for a new horse to buy since Dawson had retired. After months of looking, we thought we finally found the right one. And he was only twenty miles away. How convenient huh?" I said with a small, lifeless, laugh. "We had already paid for him and were coming to pick him up in three days. I was impatient and begged her to go pick him up earlier. She agreed to go but she said to hurry because a storm was coming through. We left right after her last lesson of the day. On the way back home, we got caught in the storm. She was concentrating on the road and I was bubbling with excitement about bringing him home. I was talking to her about buying a new saddle and I was getting annoyed because she said the one I had now was fine. It was old, cracking, and I needed a better one for the higher levels. She was getting aggravated that I was being persistent and we got into a big argument."

I had to stop to regain myself.

"I know what your thinking. What a spoiled brat. I was on the way home with a new horse and I was arguing about a new saddle."

I was looking at my feet, but I could feel Adam's eyes watching my every movement.

"Then I saw a flash of lightning that lit the entire sky. We were coming around a curve and a tree in front of us got struck and came down on us. I don't know why it didn't kill us both. It came down only on Mom's side of the car, leaving me and the horse unhurt."

I was sobbing now and had to stop for a few minutes to control my breathing. Adam wrapped his arm around me and hugged me close to him. I buried my face into his shirt, crying. I knew I had to regain myself and finish the story.

"I could here the horse thrashing in the trailer, scared and panicking. I started yelling for Mom, making sure she was okay, but she wouldn't answer me. Her body was pinned underneath the tree. The next thing I knew, an ambulance pulled up and took her away. They took me in to, making sure I wasn't hurt. I had to have stitches on my forehead, but that was all. I ran over to her room where she was hooked to all these wires, her face had scrapes all over it from the branches of the tree. The nurses were running around frantically trying to keep her alive."

Adam could see how much I was hurting and it hurt him too to see me in such pain.

I was staring ahead, reliving this horrible nightmare.

"I remember standing there in the doorway, while everyone ran around me. I was trying to look for any sign that she was going to be okay. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing rapidly. I remember standing there, in a sea of chaos, watching my mother die."

I started sobbing again, this one like never before. I had kept the hurt out for so long and now, I was letting it all come back and engulf me. I hadn't cried this hard since the accident.

I sat there in Adam's arms, for what seemed like forever, crying hysterically. And he just held me tightly, knowing that I was hurting and trying to comfort me.

After a while, I took my head away from his chest and looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

He looked at me, the whole puzzle coming together in his head.

"And the horse you're mom bought you is Flint," he said slowly.

"Yeah." I said weakly. "And I can't even look at him because every time I do, I think of the accident, and mom, and…it's just too hard. But I can't get rid of him because he's one of the closest things I have left to her before she died."

He looked at me reassuringly.

"Flint is a wonderful horse. He deserves to be ridden and he loves you Livi. He wants you to ride him and your mom would want you to have him."

He was saying it slowly to drill it through my head.

"Do you want to know the worst part about this whole thing?" I asked sadly.

He just looked at me, pain in his eyes.

"The last thing I ever said to my mom was 'I hate you'."

He just looked back into my eyes, trying to find words to comfort me.

"Livi, your mom loved you. And that's all that matters. She wouldn't have cared that your last words were that you hated her. All she wants is for you to be happy. She would have never wanted you to hold her death over you like a burden. It was a horrible accident and there was nothing you could have done to stop it."

I just looked at him with weary eyes. I couldn't believe he had said that.

"You mean, you don't hate me or think I'm a horrible person?"

He stared at me shocked.

"What? No! Livi, you're the most amazing person I've ever met."

He was cupping me face in his hand now, staring down at me with his beautiful eyes.

"You're smart, you're pretty, and I've never met anyone like you Livi. Ever since the first day I saw you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for one moment of my day."

I looked at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe that this whole time, Adam had really liked me. He thought I was amazing.

And at that moment, things seemed to come together. At that moment, I became whole again. Adam had helped heal me and now, I felt complete again. Something I thought I'd never feel again.

He tilted my head up and pressed his lips to mine. His arm was still around me, and now his other was placed on my face, caressing it. His lips were soft and warm, as if he didn't want to push me after I'd been hurting so much. But I wanted more.

I pushed against his lips urgently and I could feel his lips turn into a smile.

He pulled me tightly toward him and his kiss suddenly became more insistent, like he had been holding out for so long and he couldn't' stand it any longer.

I pulled away from him, his face inches from mine.

"Thank you Adam," I said.

"For what?" he asked a little confused.

"For changing me. For believing in me when everyone else had given up."

I looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you."

He just smiled warmly back at me.

"Your welcome."

He put my lips to his. This time, it wasn't so careful. It was strong, and persistent. He really cared about me.

I gave him everything, pushing my lips against his, my hand on his gorgeous face. It was one of the best kisses of my life. It was amazing because, we both couldn't get enough of each other and at that very moment, we felt the exact same about each other.

I couldn't get enough of him, and he clearly couldn't get enough of me.

We just sat there, kissing each other for several minutes, taking each other in. At times I would get dizzy and would have to remember to breath, and he would just laugh.

"Am I making you lightheaded?" he asked teasingly.

His smile was even more breathtaking than before.

"Kind of," I said with a laugh.

I reached up and kissed him once more and then put my head against his chest.

We sat there, his arms wrapped around me, my arms around his, just sitting there holding each other. It felt wonderful being in his arms, and I wished I could have sat there forever.

Adam kissed me softly on my forehead.

"Thank you Livi," he said.

"For what?" I asked softly.

He leaned down and kissed me softly.

"For showing me the real you."


	8. Chapter 8: Text Message

After a couple of days, we decided to make our relationship public to the school

After a couple of days, we decided to make our relationship public to the school. And that's what everyone talked about for a while.

This gave Jessica a whole new reason to hate me even more. But I didn't let it bother me.

And after a week, we decided to tell my Dad.

Strangely, he was very good about it.

I thought he would have totally freaked but instead, he was almost happy for me.

Yes, he wasn't glad about the whole living beside each other thing but he seemed to know we wouldn't do anything unacceptable and he relaxed a bit.

Adam and mine's relationship grew and we became inseparable. Month's past and it was almost time for summer.

I had opened up my heart to Flint and I was now riding him practically everyday now. He loved the attention and all the time I was spending with him and our bond became incredible. We went on trail rides with Adam riding Dawson and I started jumping him higher than I had ever jumped "D".

We were bonding so well and moving along great so I decided to enter him in an event in Chicago.

It was only a week away and Adam helped me in everyway to get ready for it.

Things were going greater than I could have ever thought. I had my old life back and I loved every minute of it. Yes, there was one extraordinary person missing from it but my life had changed and I had learned to accept it.

--

Adam sat beside me at the lunch table, holding my hand.

It was finally Friday, and I was ready to start the weekend with my scheduale for Flint.

I was also excited to go to the movies tonight with Adam, our first official date.

I was sitting and talking to Angela when I felt my phone vibrate and I instantly knew it was a text message.

I pulled my hand away from Adam's and dug my phone out of my pocket.

He looked over at me and laughed.

"What was that for?"

He instantly saw my face and his expression grew worried.

I opened up my phone urgently and read the text message from dad.

COME HOME ASAP LIVI.

DAWSON IS COLICING AND

WE NEED HELP.

My face grew pale and I couldn't breath. I looked up at Adam with panic in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked worried.

He was trying to stay calm for my sake but I could still here the alarm in his voice.

By now everyone at the lunch table had stopped their conversations and were staring at me.

I felt sick and told myself to breath.

"Dawson is colicing. I need to get home."

My voice was shaking.

"What's colic?" Angela asked worried.

I just ignored her and stated an easier answer as I got up from the table.

"He's sick and may die."

My voice cracked at the last word.

I grabbed my bag and ran out of the cafeteria with Adam behind me.

I was now on the road and gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles had turned white and I could feel the engine roaring beneath me as I pushed it to go faster.

Adam sat beside me, telling me everything was going to be okay.

When we pulled up to the stable, I slammed on the break and jumped out, leaving Adam to turn the car off.

I ran all the way to Dawson's stall and stood in front of his door by our old friend Dr. Candon and Dad.

He was lying down completely on his side, in serious pain. He looked at me, like a helpless, ill, child.

I went in and lay down beside him, putting his head in my lap, stroking his neck.

Moments later I heard Adam come up.

Then Dr. Candon decided to speak.

"Livi, he has a twisted gut and he's loosing blood fast. If he has any chance of being saved he needs medical attention."

He looked back to my dad.

"Can you afford surgery?"

When he asked that, my whole world crashed.

There was no way we could afford it, not even with insurance.

I was waiting for Dad to turn the offer down when I heard him say something else that made me look up at him with astonishment.

"Let's go ahead and go with the surgery. Where's the nearest facility?"

He was looking at me with compassion and also doubt if Dawson would live.

I could feel the tears start to roll down my face. He had to come out of surgery alive. He just had to. There was no way I could cope with loosing him too. I needed him. He needed me. I found a bond with him I had never known possible. I wasn't going to loose him, especially after I lost Mom. I wouldn't be able to live through it.

I heard his voice, very uncertain and doubtful.

"Mountain View Equine Facilities. It's two hours away. He might not even make it to the clinic."

"We have to try," Dad said determined.

Him and Adam went to hook the trailer up while the vet called the medical center saying we'd be arriving tonight for immediate surgery.

I was left alone with Dawson now, stroking his beautiful neck.

"You can't leave me 'D', not now."

I was whispering to him, with tears falling onto his face.

"I can't live without you. You have to make it through this. You have to fight hard. For me."

I could feel my throat closing up and I had to calm myself. I didn't want to start crying hysterically again. I had to stay under control.

My mind started drifting away, to all our good times together.

"Remember the time 'D', when, we entered our first show together? Third place."

I moved my hand over to his head now.

" And, remember that time I rode you bareback and I came off in the mud?" I laughed through my tears.

"You just stood there looking at me with amusement in your eyes."

I was smiling at him now. I couldn't see how though. I was crying and yet I was smiling. And then, I started choking back tears.

"God. You can't leave me! Mom gave you to me and I can't loose you both! I love you so much! I can't loose you 'D', I can't."

I was focusing on calming myself again.

"You're not going to die tonight. You're going to die old, peacefully, in a pasture, happy and content. Not now, not in pain. You're going to live through this Dawson. Trust me."

I knew as I said those words I was saying them out loud more for me to hear than Dawson.

A few moments later Adam came up to me.

"Livi, it's time to get him in the trailer."

It took all four of us to get him on his feet. He was in so much pain he couldn't stand and we had to beat him to get him up.

It took ten minutes to walk him out of the barn. Every couple of steps he would start to lie down and we had to yell and slap him to get him to stay up.

He groaned with pain, and stumbled every step.

It was one of the worst things I'd ever seen.

--

I sat on the couch with Adam in a room at the clinic.

Dad had gone to get some food and we were waiting through the surgery, which they said would take about three hours all together.

I sat there, in his arms with my cheek next to his.

His warm face was calm and soothing, which was what I needed at a time like this. Someone to hold on to and someone who had as much hope as I did and who wouldn't give up. I knew Adam wouldn't give up on Dawson, because, he had never given up on me. Not once. I knew he was always going to be there for me.

This thought comforted me more and I turned and gave him a quick kiss.

"Thank you for being here for me," I said looking up at him.

He smiled and gave me a kiss back.

"I'll always be here for you."

--

I opened my eyes and noticed the too-familiar room. I looked over at Adam.

"What happened?" I asked with a yawn.

He just gave a small laugh and smiled.

"You fell asleep. You have no idea how tired you are."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked worried.

"Only thirty minutes. I was hoping you'd sleep longer. You need some rest."

He was looking at me with his gorgeous face, with worry in his eyes.

"And you were talking in your sleep again."

I sighed.

"What did I say this time?" I asked.

"Well, you said my name a couple of times, and, you said Dawson's name a lot. Every time you said his name, you had a worried look on your face. But every time you said my name, your expression changed. Almost like you were at peace and calm."

"You definitely help to keep me relaxed. If you weren't here with me right now I would probably be going insane right now," I said with a small smile.

Then, a wave of worry swept over me and I couldn't help but think about Dawson.

I looked up at Adam slowly.

"Do you think Dawson is going to make it through this?" I asked quietly, almost at a whisper.

He looked into my eyes.

"He's strong and he's going to make it out at any way possible. He loves you Livi, and he wants to see you again."

I could feel a tear starting down my face.

Adam put his hand up to my face and wiped it away gently with his fingertip.

He gave me a quick kiss and I hugged him.

We sat in each other's arms for a while, waiting it out.

Then, Dad walked in with some food.

"I went over and ordered a pizza," he said sitting down.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled.

"Livi, you need to eat something," Dad said sternly. "I mean, when's the last time you ate?"

"I don't know. Lunch I guess." I said bored.

"That's was more than eight hours ago. Eat."

I knew he wasn't messing around. And the last thing I needed was to pass out from hunger while I was trying to make sure Dawson was okay.

I forced down two slices of pizza and then looked over at Dad.

"There. Happy?" I asked annoyed.

"You really are tired." He said.

"And why do you say that?" I asked aggravated.

"Because you get irritable when you're tired."

"Wow. Thanks Dad," I said weakly.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Just saying."

Adam couldn't help but laugh.

We waited another hour and finally, we heard a knock on the door.


	9. Chapter 9: The News

The surgeon, Dr

The surgeon, Dr. Manton I learned, came in and closed the door behind him.

I looked up at him with anticipation in my eyes.

"Well, it was definitely worse than I thought. His gut was twisted over two hundred degrees and he lost a great deal of blood flow."

He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. He finally looked up again and looked straight at me.

"He didn't make it out of surgery. I'm sorry."

He was looking at me with distress and sympathy in his eyes.

My heart sank and the air was knocked out of my lungs. I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. My body wasn't functioning. I couldn't except that Dawson was dead. He's dead. And I was never going to see him again.

I started choking back tears but instead of acting strong, I just let them come out. I had just lost my best friend. The horse that had taught me life lessons was now gone. I would walk in the barn the next morning and he wouldn't be looking over his stall door at me. Whenever my world came crashing down, I wouldn't have him to turn to anymore. He was gone. Forever. And I was devastated.

I started crying into Adam's chest and he just held me tight, not letting go of me.

He knew right now I needed someone here for me and to comfort me, and he wasn't going to let me go.

Dad looked over at Dr. Manton with distress and sorrow in his eyes.

"When can we take him home?" he asked.

"Tonight if you want. I would recommend the morning though since it's so late." He said kindly.

"I'll come pick him up tomorrow. That way I will have a place dug for him and I can take him straight there."

I could tell by his voice that Dad was just as upset about this as I was.

"I'm not coming and I'm not going to watch you bury his body," I said through sobs.

"It's okay honey. I'll do it and you can stay inside."

He turned back to the doctor.

"Thank you Dr. Manton for your help. We'll be leaving now."

"Thank you Mr. Cheek. I'm very sorry."

I cried the whole was home that night, arriving home at two in the morning. Adam helped me up to my room and put me under the covers.

He started to walk out when I reached out to him.

"Adam, please don't go. Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked desperately.

He stopped and turned.

"I'll do whatever you want me to," he said walking over to me.

He sat beside me, stroking my face, while I lay there, exhausted from crying.

I looked up at him.

"Why Adam. Why did God do this to me." I said quietly and hurt.

He just looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

"I'm not going to lie to you Livi. I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that Dawson loved you and even though he's gone physically on earth, the bond that you had with him will always be here. And I know right now you're hurting more than imaginable but with time, it will heal. The memories won't fade but the pain will. You just have to give it time."

I just looked at him. I couldn't believe he had said something that extraordinary.

"Wow Adam," I said quietly.

He leaned down and kissed my lips gently.

"Now, go to sleep," he said gently. "You're exhausted."

Before I could argue with him, I had already closed my eyes and that's all it took. I fell asleep instantly, drifting away.

I woke the next morning, and saw Adam sitting in a chair beside my bed.

"Good morning," he said with a small smile.

"You stayed," I said eager and sat up.

"Of course I did. I told you I wouldn't leave," he said with a sweet smile.

I smiled at him, looking into his eyes. And then it hit me. Why I'd been so tired. It was because I was at the clinic all night, with Dawson. And he didn't make it through.

I didn't start to cry. I couldn't cry anymore. Instead, I looked up at Adam.

"Dad is out burying Dawson isn't he?" I asked sadly.

He just looked into my eyes, pain in his.

"Yes." He answered gradually.

He knew how much pain I had went through last night and he didn't want to say anything that would put me in that much pain again.

"Are you okay?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah…I'm just really tired." I said quietly.

"Your dad went out and took care of the stable this morning."

I looked at him a little confused.

"What time is it?"

"It's nine. I wanted to let you sleep," he said a little concerned. "And your dad wanted me to stay here with you."

"Thanks," I said getting out of bed. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go clean up."

"I'll wait here," he said with a smile.

I went into the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. It was horrific. My hair looked like a messy haystack and my eyes were red and puffy.

I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. Then I started to try to untangle my chaotic hair.

A couple of minutes later I walked back into my room looking semi-decent.

Adam was sitting on my bed now, and I went to sit in his lap like a child.

He wrapped his arms around me; hugging me tightly and not letting me go.

I sat there, trying to organize my confused thoughts. I tried to figure out what I needed to do next. When I found an answer, I looked up at Adam.

"I've decided to withdraw Flint from the show in Chicago," I said determined.

He just looked at me confused.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. Its just…there's so much going on right now here. And, there will be other shows."

He looked down on me and smiled.

"If that's what you want, then it's fine with me," he said stroking my face.

"And I have an idea," he continued.

Now it was my turn to be confused.

"And what's that?"

"We skip school on Monday and spend the whole day together. What do you say?"

I just looked up at him with a smile.

"That sounds perfect."


	10. Chapter 10: Surprise

I woke up and went downstairs to get some breakfast.

When I came down, I saw a note on the kitchen counter.

_Went to feed the horses._

_Didn't want to wake you because_

_you looked so beautiful sleeping._

_Be back in a little while._

_-Adam_

_P.S.-make sure to put on a swimsuit._

I confused expression came over my face. Why would I need a swimsuit for today?

As soon as I read it my eyes jumped to the clock and I saw it was a quarter 'till nine.

Adam and I spent the day together yesterday and now we were playing hooky today.

I grabbed some cereal and sat down at the table, reading his note over again, trying to figure out what was going on.

When I had finished, I put my bowl in the sink and headed upstairs to get ready for the day. I knew it would take me twice as long as it would Adam to get ready.

I was almost done when I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I said.

Adam opened the door and he looked amazing just standing there. I still couldn't believe he was mine. And even though I've seen him a hundred times, he still takes my breath away.

"Hey. Your up," he said with a smile.

"Yeah. So, what are we going to do today? And why do I need a swimsuit?" I asked confused.

He started to get a sly smile on his face.

"It's a surprise," he said with that cute crooked grin.

"Are you serious?" I asked shocked. "That's not fair!"

"Oh yes it is!" he said with a laugh. "Let me get ready and then we'll head out."

Like I said, it took only Adam about ten minutes to get ready, and he looked absolutely gorgeous!

We headed outside and I went to the driver's door.

"Do you really think your driving?" he asked amused.

I got stubborn.

"If you're not telling me where we're going then I'm at least driving," I said crossing my arms over my stomach.

He just laughed, as if this was a joke.

"Oh no your not. And how do you expect to drive when you have no idea where we're going?" he asked laughing.

"I guess that means you'll just have to tell me," I said with a grin.

I looked up into his gorgeous eyes. He was looking at me, amusement written all over his face.

"That's funny," he said. Then before I could figure out what he was doing, he had already thrown me over his shoulder and was walking off with me!

"Put me down!" I yelled squealing.

"No. Sorry. I guess since you're being so stubborn I'm going to have to do this the hard way," he said laughing.

"Adam!"

He had walked all the way to the passenger's side and set me inside.

I crossed my arms and pretended to pout, but he just laughed and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Livi, why do you always have to be so stubborn?" he asked with a laugh.

"I don't know. I guess you'll just have to live with it," I said still pretending.

He just laughed and walked around the car and climbed in.

He started to drive and the whole time I kept asking him where we were going, but he wouldn't budge.

I finally gave up and just stared out the window for any hints.

"Livi, you might as well pull something out to read. It'll be quite a ways."

I just looked at him shocked.

"Where are you taking me?"

He wouldn't answer me.

"And besides, I don't have a book or anything."

"Yes you do. I brought you some things for the trip. They're behind your seat."

I just looked at him. He was enjoying every minute of this torture! He knew that surprises drive me insane!

I was still being stubborn and ignored him, looking out the window. But after about another fifteen minutes of travel, I gave in and got a book out.

We drove on for a couple of hours. Every so often I'd look over at Adam and he would have the same expression on his face. The expression when he knew something I didn't and the expression when he liked to annoy me.

I was in the good part of my book when Adam looked over at me.

"We're here," he said with a smile.

I looked out the window eagerly and saw the lake, filled with boats, and the dock and marina.

"What are we doing here?" I asked confused.

"Well, you know how much Sean and I like to wakeboard and we used to go to the lake every weekend. I thought it'd be fun to get a boat and spend the day out on the lake together."

His smile covered his whole face. He was excited about this big day he'd planned without me knowing.

I on the other hand, was speechless. I couldn't believe he'd done this for me.

"Oh my god Adam. This is amazing!" I said wide-eyed.

He smiled even bigger.

"Well, let's head down there and get on the water!" he said eagerly.

The next thing I knew we were on the lake and having a blast. It was so fun being here with Adam. And he knew that I needed to get away from everything and just enjoy myself.

We pulled over into a cove and he turned the boat off. Then he put in a CD and started to listen to music.

I just sat there, still surprised about the whole thing.

A few minutes later I saw Adam get up and he pulled his white shirt off.

I had forgotten how amazing he looked without one on and I almost started hyperventilating! This was only the second time I'd ever seen him shirtless, and the first time was by accident.

He started to look at me confused.

"Why are you looking at me so weird?" he asked with a laugh.

"Oh nothing." I said breathless.

"What?" he said with a grin. "Did I dazzle you again?"

"More like killed me," I said with a laugh.

He came over and put his arms around my waist, his bare chest against me.

"You know you dazzle me too," he said with a smile.

He leaned down and kissed me. This was one of the most amazing days of my life.

We were still kissing when he grabbed my waist and picked me up.

I leaned back.

"What are you doing?" I asked worried. I already knew the answer. "No Adam. Don't!"

But before I could say anything else he was already running up to the front of the boat and we jumped into the water together.

I came up gasping for air, Adam already at the surface.

"I can't believe you did that! I didn't even have time to get out of my clothes!" I laughed.

He just laughed, water dripping off his hair.

"That's not my problem!"

I splashed water at him and we were both laughing.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look great in a bikini?" he said with a laugh.

I decided to play along.

"Oh yeah. Every summer we would hold tons of pool parties and all the guys couldn't stop staring," I said with a grin.

His face fell and I just laughed at him even more.

"Kidding!" I said. "And has anyone ever told you that you look great without a shirt on?" I couldn't stop laughing now.

He smiled big and he had found the perfect answer.

"Well, some. But I remember a certain someone and the first time she saw me shirtless she couldn't breath or even say a sentence without the word 'um'!"

He was laughing hysterically now and I knew he was talking about me.

I couldn't help but laugh too and we finally just swam, enjoying the peace and quiet.

We floated in the water for a while, his arms always around me. Could life get any better?

After a while we got back in the boat and ate some lunch.

Adam had planned this whole thing out and had even made sandwiches.

We were eating when I decided to bring up the subject on my mind.

"I decided to not withdraw Flint from the competition," I said.

He looked up at me, a little surprised, but happy.

"I'm glad you're going. I think you'll enjoy it."

I smiled at him. Adam was always supportive of my decision, no matter what it was. He was so amazing.

"Thank you," I said kissing him on the cheek. "For doing all of this for me and for supporting my decision."

He kissed me back.

"Your welcome."

We spent the rest of the day out there, just enjoying each other and loving every minute of being together alone. Just the fact that we were alone and were over two hours from home was enough to make me extremely joyful.

We started to head back to the marina when dusk came around, and before I knew it we were on the way home again. Bummer.

We talked for a while and then stopped to eat around seven.

And of course I had to go in the fast food restaurant with semi-dry clothes on and with Adam beside me completely dry!

Every girl in the restaurant from thirteen to twenty stared at him with shock. I had gotten used to every girl doing a double take and whispering about him every time we went out in public.

We sat and ate our dinner inside, watching each other. It was funny to watch Adam eat. I had learned some stuff about him. Like how he dips his fries in his shake, which is disgusting if you ask me! I learned that he eats fries with ketchup, anywhere we go.

At first, I used to be really self-conscious when I was eating in front of Adam, but now we were so close I didn't care.

He had told me all the stuff he had learned when I ate too. Like that I eat all the way around my burger and save the middle for last. Or how I eat fries completely plain, which he found disgusting.

Yes, these were pointless things to learn about each other, but we each thought it was funny to learn these mannerisms about one another.

When we were back on the road, Adam put in a CD and we held each other's hands.

The next thing I knew we had pulled up to the house! It took me a minute to realize i had fallen asleep.

"Adam! Why didn't you wake me?" I asked shocked.

"You looked a little tired," he said thoughtfully.

I was mad at myself.

"I can't believe I fell asleep! Uh!"

He was just laughing now.

"Livi, why are you so mad?"

"Because," I said. "I wanted to stay up the whole ride with you. I liked being alone together and I wanted every minute of it," I said sadly.

He was grinning at me now with amusement.

"Honey, was it not enough that we spend the whole day together alone?"

I just looked at him and smiled.

"No."

He just laughed and kissed me on my lips briefly.

We walked in the house together and Dad was sitting on the couch.

"Have fun at the lake you two?" he asked.

I was surprised.

"You knew about it too and didn't tell me!"

He laughed.

"Adam told me not to tell you," he said with a smile.

I walked up to my room and decided to take a shower and get out of my wet clothes.

When I was ready for bed, I decided to go to Adam's room.

I knocked on the door, waiting for an answer.

"Come in," he said.

I opened the door, and he was lying on his bed watching T.V. without a shirt on.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I laughed.

He started to laugh and patted his bed for me to sit down.

I went over and lay beside him, my head on his chest. One of his hands was intertwined with mine, the other holding my side. One of my favorite places to be was in his arms like this.

We sat and watched T.V, just lying there together, when his cell phone rang.


	11. Chapter 11: Unexpected Visitior

He picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

I waited patiently, but trying to figure out who it was and what the conversation was about.

"Slow down Mom, I can't understand you," Adam said in a concerned voice.

I was starting to get worried when Adam sat up in bed.

"Wait, what? He's in the hospital?"

Adam's face fell.

"Ok Mom, I'll catch a flight tonight and come over as soon as I can."

Oh my god. Something terrible had happened.

"I don't care if it's late. I'm coming. By."

Adam got out of bed in a rush.

I was almost too worried to ask, but i finally founds the words.

"What's going on?"

He looked up at me with pain in his eyes.

"Sean was in a car accident and is hurt badly. He's in the hospital," he said.

"Are you leaving tonight?"

He looked at me apologetically.

"Yeah. They need me. I'm sorry Livi."

I was just as worried about Sean as he was.

"Then I'll come with you," I said stubbornly.

"Livi, don't. I'll be gone for the next two days and I think you need to stay and get ready for the show in Chicago since we're leaving Thursday."

"There will be other shows Adam. I care about you and I care about your brother. Why won't you let me come along?"

He dropped his eyes from mine, trying to find an answer that wouldn't hurt my feelings.

"Because my mom is pretty shaken right now. And. . . you dad told my dad that you and I were going out and when my mom heard, she wasn't very happy. I don't think now is a good time."

I felt like I'd been slapped in the face.

"Oh," I said quietly.

Adam was hurting and it was written all over his face. He didn't want to tell me this. Especially not now.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked hurt.

"I don't know," he said painfully.

That wasn't a good enough answer for me at the time. I hurried out of his room and closed the door behind me. I crawled in bed, hurt and miserable.

I could hear him packing on the other side of the wall. But not for long, because I soon fell asleep, with tears rolling down my eyes.

I woke up the next morning, feeling absolutely miserable. We'd had a fight and I wouldn't see him again for another two days to say sorry.

I started to crawl out of bed when I saw a note on the table beside me.

_Sorry about last night._

_I came to your room last night_

_to apologize but you were asleep_

_So I gave you a kiss and headed out._

_I'll be back Wednesday night in time for the show._

_I'll call you tonight._

_Love, Adam_

His note made me feel a little better but I was still mad at myself at how I reacted.

I got out of bed quickly and went to take care of the horses.

I was definitely going to be late for school today.

When I was finally on the way to school, I was over forty-five minutes late. My first period teacher already hated me and this wasn't going to help.

I pulled in the parking lot and hurried inside.

When I got to class and sat down, I gave a lame excuse to my teacher, and got my book out.

Angela was sitting beside me and wrote a note to me.

_Where's Adam? And why are you late?_

I answered her and passed it back.

_His older brother was in a car accident last night_

_and he flew down there. But don't tell anyone_

_because I don't want it to get around school_

_without him knowing._

When she read it, her eyes grew wide and then she nodded.

_Ok. Where were ya'll yesterday?_

I just smiled.

_Playing hooky. We went to the lake for the day._

She laughed when she read this.

_Nice. How is Dawson?_

When I read this, my face fell. Of course she didn't know and I couldn't blame her for asking. She was just cared for me and wanted to know. They would find out sooner or later so I decided to tell her.

_We took him to surgery but he didn't_

_Make it out. Dawson is dead._

I watched her read it and her face fell as well. She felt horrible for asking.

_I'm sorry Livi. I didn't mean upset you._

_It's okay. Don't worry about it._

She decided to throw away the note after that.

I went through my morning classes, bored without Adam. I went ahead and got Adam and my make-up work and the work we'd miss when we leave for the show. One thing was for sure, we were going to be behind in school and would have lots of work to do.

I finally got to lunch when everyone asked where Adam was. I just told them that he had a family emergency and had to go home for a few days.

Even Jessica asked me about Adam but that was because she still liked him.

I finally made it through my last classes of the day and headed out to my car.

I was driving towards the barn when my phone rang. I knew it was Adam from the ID and I picked it up quickly.

"Hey," I said worried.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"How is he?"

There was a pause.

"Not good. They say he has a few broken ribs, and his right arm and right leg are broken from where he got hit."

It took me a moment to breath.

"Oh my god Adam. Is he going to be okay?"

I was worried now.

"Yeah. They think so. He's just really banged up. His face looks horrible. I'm glad you didn't come because Sean doesn't look good right now." He paused for a moment. "And Livi, I'm sorry about the other night. Really, I am. I should have told you sooner about what happened."

I took a deep breath.

"No. It's okay. I understand."

"Ok. Well, I have to go but I promise to call you tomorrow."

"I miss you," I said sadly. That's all I could say at this point.

"I miss you too," he said.

"By."

"By Livi."

This was the first time Adam and I had been apart since he came and I was hurting every minute of it. I hadn't realized just how much I was attached to him. No, not attached. It was how much he was apart of me. When he left, he took a part of me with him. I missed him so much.

I made it to the barn and started my afternoon lessons.

I was helping a little girl saddle her pony when Jessica came up. I was almost knocked off my feet I was so surprised.

"Jessica, what are you doing here?" I asked wide-eyed.

"I'm here to ride Garnet. After all, I need to get a little practice in before the show in Chicago,"she said with a fake smile.

What in the world? Since when does Jessica come out here?

"Well, I don't know if Garnet is ready for that show. It's a pretty high level," I said trying to be nice.

"That's why I've been paying you to train her and keep her in shape," she said annoyed. "I'm going to need a lesson this afternoon."

I was getting irritated with her. Why does she have to be so demanding. Just because she has money, she thinks the entire world revolves around her.

"I'm sorry Jessica but I'm booked all this afternoon. And I have to ride my own horse tonight too to get ready for the show."

She was mad now.

"Can't you school your horse while your giving me a lesson?"

I was so mad by this point that I about exploded.

"No, I can't Jessica! If I want to get anything accomplished with Flint today I have to give my full attention to him. I'm sorry but you will just have to ride her by yourself in the outdoor ring."

With that I walked off and went out to teach my lesson. She obviously was angry with me but I didn't care. It was about time someone showed her that she doesn't get everything she wants.

Finally, I was done for the day, and Jessica had gone home. I decided to get on Flint and do some flatwork with him.

He was doing really well and I decided to finish early.

I took care of all the horses and then turned the radio on. I was going to be here all night. I had to clean my saddles and bridles for the show. And not to mention millions of other things. I wanted to get the hard stuff out of the way tonight.

After I was done cleaning, I started to load everything in the trailer. That way tomorrow I could just ride and then get Flint ready to go.

It was about ten o'clock when I finally pulled out of the barn.

When I got home, I grabbed something to eat and started to get some homework out of the way. I was up 'till about twelve working on schoolwork when I fell asleep.

And I couldn't blame myself. I was exhausted.

I ended up getting five hours of sleep. Not what I was wanting. But this is how it goes when you have horseshows.

The rest of my day came and went as a blur. I went to school, taught some lessons, and was exhausted!

I jumped Flint and raised the jumps higher than usual. This was our first show together, and this was the first time I had ever competed at a level this high in my lifetime.

I was amazed at how well he handled the jumps and I took him into the barn, feeling excited and not as worried anymore.

Jessica had came to the barn today and I turned her down again. The only reason she was coming out here and the only reason she was even going to this show was because of Adam. She wasn't giving up.

I still had lots of things to do tonight since we were leaving early in the morning.

I started to bathe Flint, and then trimmed him up and oiled his feet. I put tons of stuff over his coat and in his main and tail to make him presentable for the show.

Again, I was out at the barn late.

I was about to leave when I saw a car pull up. I was confused beyond belief. And then I saw Adam step out of the car.

I ran outside and gave him a big hug.

As soon as i had touched him again, i felt whole. I know that sounds weird but that's the only way I can describe the feeling. I was in his arms again and it felt so good.

We just stood there, holding on to each other for a while. Then I finally spoke.

"I missed you so much," I said with relief.

"I missed you too," he said with a smile.

He started to kiss me and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It had felt so long since we had seen each other and we didn't want to let go of one another.

Then taxi driver set his things aside and drove off. Obviously, Adam had already paid him and he was ready to get out of here.

We just stood there in the darkness, the light from the barn glowing. I had missed everything about him. His beautiful face, his voice, his smile, his smell. I was more that delighted to be in his arms again.

And Adam felt the same way because I could tell he didn't want to let me go either.

"Well, lets get to the house. We have a lot to do tonight if we're leaving in the morning," he said with a smile.

I drove home, the whole time holding his hand and glancing over at him, not wanting to have to look away.

We went upstairs and started packing a suitcase. I also had to pack my clothes for the show and a multiple of other stuff.

It was a little past twelve when we both went to sleep.

Even though I was tired, I was excited like I always was before a show. And a little nervous as well.

I drifted off into sleep, knowing that I better enjoy it because I wouldn't get much more of it.


	12. Chapter 12: Influences

"Rise and shine beautiful," Adam said softly in my ear.

I woke up and looked over at my alarm clock. It was four a.m.!

"Are you serious?" I asked.

He just laughed.

"Of course I am. Now get up sleepyhead."

Even in the dark, I could see his beautiful face and his perfect smile.

I got ready and we went downstairs quietly and put our luggage in my car.

When we got to the barn, we took all our stuff out of my car and into the truck that we were taking on the trip. It was our white truck that we use to pull the trailer and it usually stays at the barn.

We were done feeding by five-thirty and I brought Flint out of his stall to get ready.

"Is there anything I can do?" Adam asked.

I looked around for a moment.

"Uh, yea. You can put an extra bag of shavings in the trailer and make sure he has enough hay for the ride over today," I said happily. I was more than excited to be on the way.

"Ok," he said with a smile and walked off.

I couldn't help but think how grateful I was to have a guy who was so helpful.

After I'd got Flint prepared for the long trailer ride and Adam had hooked the trailer up, I walked him out of the barn and loaded him in the trailer.

We made sure we had everything and the barn was all right, and headed out.

I was a little tired and couldn't help but yawn.

"Do you want me to drive?" Adam asked thoughtfully.

"Can you pull a horse trailer?" I asked.

He just laughed.

"I've pulled trailers before you know," he said with a grin.

"But with a living animal inside?" I asked skeptically.

"No, but I'll drive careful. You look like you could use some extra sleep."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

I was tired though, and I let Adam drive. At least for the first three hours.

We stopped after that and got some breakfast. It was also good to let Flint rest for a while.

We were back on the road now and Adam had a worried expression on his face.

"Livi, I need to talk to you about Sean."

I could tell in his voice that this was painful for him to talk about, so I grabbed his hand to comfort him.

"You can tell me anything," I said reassuringly.

He took a deep breath.

"You know how Sean was in the accident." He paused for a moment. "Well, while my parents went to get us something to eat, Sean told me what really happened that night. You see, he had told my parents that he was at a friend's house and he was driving him home when a guy ran a stoplight and hit them. But the truth is completely different. Later on that night Sean told me that he had been at a party. Him and his friends had been drinking that night. It was his friend who had actually ran the stoplight, and Sean got hit. His friend was unharmed and they said that if the truck that hit had been going even a couple of miles faster, Sean would have died."

Adam was upset and I couldn't blame him. Just the thought of Sean dying was enough to put tears in my eyes. But I couldn't quiet figure out where Adam was going with this.

"It's just that, Sean is only a year older than me and he's drinking, out having sex with random girls, partying, and, I don't want to be like that by next year. I don't want to be doing those things like he is. And, I'm afraid I'm turning into Sean."

He was looking at me now, and I was speechless.

"Adam, I can't believe you would even think that you are remotely close to acting like your brother. Ya'll are complete opposites. And people get into those bad things by the people they let themselves get close to and the influence they have on them. And I know that you are hanging around the right people who aren't going to get you into those things Adam. I mean, Jessica maybe mean but she's not stupid enough to be doing those things. And neither are you." I paused for a moment. "And I'm not saying your brother is stupid. He is just hanging around some stupid people who are having a big influence on him."

He was looking at me now, with his beautiful eyes, filled with pain and relief.

"Wow Livi. You really know how to make me feel better."

I just looked at him and smiled.

"The key to high school is the people you hang around with. It's that simple."

He squeezed my hand and leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you," he said with a smile.

I couldn't help but ask him a question that was on my mind.

"And do your parents know what he's doing?" I asked hesitantly.

Adam looked disappointed.

"No, and I've known for about six months now. But after this accident happened, I think it's time they know the truth."

I looked over and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I think so too," I said.

We traveled another nine hours. Stopping every so often to let Flint rest and to get something to eat.

It was so pleasurable, getting to spend this many hours alone with Adam, just like at the lake. I couldn't help but ask him if he felt the same way too.

"Do you like traveling like this together? I mean, getting to have alone time with each other?" I asked.

He just looked over and smiled at me.

"This is my second favorite time to be with you. When we feel we're so alone because we're hours from home," he said grinning.

"And what's the first?" I asked curious.

His smile was covering his whole face.

"My favorite time to be with you is when I'm holding you in my arms."

I was completely speechless. That was the most amazing thing anyone had ever said to me.

I leaned over and kissed him. That was all the words I needed to say right now.

We finally arrived at the show grounds.

Adam parked the trailer and unloaded Flint while I went to sign in. When I went into the office, Jessica was in there. Oh great!

"Hey Livi!" she said with a fake smile.

"Hey Jessica," I said annoyed.

"Can you believe it?" she asked.

"Believe what?" I said annoyed.

"That we're in the same division! How fun is this going to be!"

I was getting tired of this stupid little act she was pulling.

"It'll be awesome Jessica. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go take care of my horse."

I walked out, glad to be away from her and her stupid act.

I walked down to where Flint's stall was and started unpacking everything. Adam was already there and had set some things up. In this sport, most people that ride are teenage girls. Well, let's just say that every teenage girl in that entire barn was staring at him and hoping to God he wasn't with me.

It made me feel good inside, to have a guy that is so great and who cared for me the same as I did for him. Every girl here just cared about his looks, but I cared about more than that. I mean, don't get me wrong, Adam is breathtakingly gorgeous, but I love his personality, coolness, and basically everything about him. And I know that I couldn't live a day without him.

"Are you alright?" Adam asked with a laugh.

I guess I had just been standing there looking stupid. Nice going! I tried to recover.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," I said.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and right then, every girl that was looking at him had turned away in disgust. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked curiously.

"It's just, every girl here has been staring at you the minute we pulled up. As soon as you gave me a kiss, they looked away."

He just laughed.

"I guess I just can't help but dazzle people."

I was laughing now.

"Okay, don't get full of yourself!"

We finished unpacking everything in front of Flint's stall and we decided to go out to eat.

It was only Thursday night, so there wasn't many things I had to do, and the grounds weren't busy yet. So after I wrapped his legs and but a blanket on Flint for the night, we decided to leave.

We went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant, and headed back to the hotel.

By the time we had gotten our luggage into our room and settled in, it was close to nine. I was more than ecstatic to get some good sleep tonight.

I took a quick shower and got in bed to watch T.V. I waited for Adam to get out of the shower and get ready for the night.

When he came out, I asked him to come lay beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips, and I kissed him back.

We just lay there, kissing each other and really getting into it. It was such a good feeling because, we were completely alone and Adam wasn't hesitant at all. Neither was I! I couldn't get enough of him.

I was kissing him back, being persistent, and he suddenly got a little softer and more careful. I could tell he was about to pull away and I kissed him even more.

Adam pulled his face away from mine.

"Come on Livi, we're in a hotel room by ourselves with our parents hours away. Have a little self control," he said sternly.

"I'm sorry, I can't," I said with a laugh.

He couldn't help but smile.

"You know, it's pretty sad when the guy has more self control than the girl," he said with a laugh.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh well, it's good for a guy to have self control."

"Yeah, but it makes it twice as hard when the girl he's in love with doesn't have any," he said. "And I think your Dad is having enough anxiety as it is just thinking about us being alone in a hotel room together for three nights," he said with a smile.

I shook my head.

"He trusts me. He knows I won't do something like that," I said reassuring.

Adam gave me a light kiss on the forehead.

I decided to bring up the subject on my mind.

"Thank you," I said softly. "For coming here with me and spending so many days out here with me."

He wrapped his arms around me even tighter.

"There is no place I'd rather be right now than here with you," he said with his beautiful smile.

He placed a kiss on my lips and pulled his head back to look at me. His eyes were absolutely gorgeous and I loved every second of being here with him.

He looked like he was going to say something important, but I couldn't figure out what he was thinking. Then, he said something that I had been wanting to hear for a while now.

"I love you Livi," he said softly.

I couldn't breath. Adam loved me. He loved me just like I loved him, and he wanted me to know exactly how he felt. There was only one answer my heart could give him.

"I love you too Adam," I said breathless.

I gave him a kiss, and this time, he kissed me back, and more urgently than before. We couldn't get enough of each other and now that we knew exactly how each other felt, there was nothing stopping us from giving our hearts to each other.

We were still kissing when my phone rang.

Adam groaned when I pulled away.

I just laughed.

"I have to answer it. It might be Dad and if I don't answer, he'll probably have a heart attack."

"Fine," he moaned.

I couldn't help but laugh when I answered the phone.

"Hey Dad," I said.

"Hey Livi. How's everything going?" he asked worried.

"Fine Dad," I laughed. Adam was kissing my neck.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

"Uh, Adam and I are watching a funny movie," I lied.

I could here the distress in his voice.

"How was the drive?"

"Fine Dad. We're pretty tired so we're going to go to bed," I said trying to get him off the phone.

"Okay," he said worried. "By Livi. And tell Adam I said hi."

I just rolled my eyes.

"Okay Dad. By!"

I flipped my phone shut and turned to Adam with a stern face.

"You were talking about me not having any self control, and you almost gave my dad a heart attack!"

He just laughed and kissed me.

"Sorry," he said with a smile.

He started to get up off my bed and turn off the light. When he was in his bed, I heard him turn over onto his side. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about tonight.

"Adam?" I asked, hoping he hadn't gone to sleep.

"Yeah?"

"You're definitely not your brother," I said with a smile.

"Why is that?" he asked curious.

"Because if you were your brother, you would have done more with me tonight than kiss me," I said hesitantly.

I could here relief in his voice when he spoke.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said with a smile.

"I know I'm right," I said back.

We both laughed and then I rolled over onto my side.

"Good night," I said softly.

"Good night," Adam said back.

Before I could think of anything else, I had already fallen asleep.


	13. Chapter 13: The Horseshow

We woke around six and were out at the barn by seven to feed Flint.

The day was very cold and I kept a blanket on Flint all day.

I walked my course several time until I could remember it in my sleep. Adam walked it with me, and he couldn't believe I was going to jump this big, especially on Flint.

I'd never jumped this big before on him and I was a little nervous.

Today was when most people were arriving so the grounds were busy and chaotic. Flint was building up anxiety and I took him out multiple times to walk him around.

Later that afternoon, I saddled Flint and took him to the practice ring with some jumps in it. Most people were still unpacking so the arena wasn't as busy yet.

I took him around the ring and he was bucking and leaping in the air. He was definitely drawing attention to himself and people were staring at him, waiting for me to get thrown off. And the other people in the arena around him thought he was insane. I just let him canter around the ring for twenty minutes until he calmed down.

When he finally settled a bit, I walked over to Adam.

"What's going on?" he asked worried.

"I'm not sure. I think he's just nervous and he's trying to get used to the show atmosphere again. And he's been stuck in a stall so he's wound up," I said out of breath.

"Is he going to be acting better by tomorrow?" he asked.

I patted Flint's neck.

"I think so. I'm going to start jumping him now. Hopefully if I give him something productive to think about he'll pay attention."

"Be careful," Adam called behind me.

I just laughed and he rolled his eyes.

I picked up a canter and started to take Flint around to the smaller jump first. As soon as he saw it, he paid full attention and was all business. I rode him to the jump, finding the right distance, and he launched over it, clearing the jump by another foot.

One thing I had learned about this horse was that he didn't like to touch the rails and I loved that about him.

I came to another and he jumped it perfectly. I was thrilled we were doing so well together with jumps this high and I took him over some more.

When I was sure he was ready for tomorrow, I brought him back to a walk and gave him a free rein.

I let him cool down and then brought him back into the barn.

"Well, that went better than I thought," I said with a smile.

Adam kissed me lightly on the lips.

"That was wonderful. Ya'll will do great tomorrow," he said with a smile.

We grabbed something to eat and then I went back to Flint's stall to start braiding.

This was so pointless and I hated this part about shows. Having to stay out at the barn until eleven at night braiding was not fun.

But since we had arrived yesterday instead of today, we had more time.

It took me an hour and a half to braid, Adam just sitting on a stool, watching me.

At some times, I couldn't help but laugh.

It was around ten when we left the grounds and we decided to head back to the hotel.

I woke the next morning at four a.m. My ride time was at seven and we needed to be there early enough to not worry about having to rush to get ready.

I drove out to the farm, Adam half asleep. But not me, I was too excited and full of adrenaline to be tired.

I was out in the warm up ring now, which is more dangerous than being in Iraq! I'm serious! You have misbehaved horses, people galloping at you from all directions, and about twenty horses in a ring with three jumps!

Jessica was on Garnet and was warming up while I was.

Flint was doing well and I decided to take him to a higher jump before he got bored and started to think too much.

I was coming up to the jump when I looked over and saw Jessica over talking to Adam on the side of the arena. She was laughing and flirting with him.

I got distracted and didn't prepare Flint well enough. When he got to the base of the jump, he judged the distance wrong, and we came crashing through the jump. Flint came down on his knees, throwing me off towards the side.

I could here everyone taking in a breath, scared of what had just happened.

I started to get on my feet when I saw Adam coming towards me hurriedly, leading Flint.

"Livi! Are you okay?" he asked, worry in his eyes.

I was brushing myself off now and taking the reins from him. I could see Jessica over where she was a few seconds ago, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," I said a little shaken. "I'm fine."

Adam wasn't buying it.

"Are you sure?"

I just looked at him, being honest.

"Yeah. Just give me a leg up. I only have two more riders before me and I can't go in there without a few good jumps," I said pulling myself together.

Adam lifted my left leg up and swung me over.

I cantered off, jumping as many good jumps as I could before going into the ring.

I was a little worried now. As long as I made a clear round today, I would be in the jump off tomorrow. But I had to make it around the whole course without a rail down or a stop. And that meant Flint and I had to be in total sync with each other.

I watched the rider before me finish their round. It was always good for me to watch someone else to see how it rides.

Before I was ready, the rider was already finished and was exiting the ring. The ring steward was telling me to enter and I felt like I was going to throw up. My nerves were taking over my body and I had to get control over myself to make this a good round.

I trotted up to the judge, saluted, and waited for the whistle to sound.

When I heard it, I cantered to the first fence, keeping all my concentration on Flint and helping him to the jump. He flew over it perfectly, and we headed for the next one.

The entire course went like this.

Even the triple combination rode perfectly.

We left the ring, hearing the crowd cheer over our picture perfect round.

Adam was waiting for me with a smile that took my breath away. You'd think I'd be used to him by now but clearly I wasn't.

"That was amazing," he said cheerfully.

"It felt amazing!" I laughed.


	14. Chapter 14: The Drive Home

We were on the way home now, exhausted and tired.

Adam was driving and I had just woken up.

I couldn't help but flash back to how Flint and I performed on Sunday. It was absolutely amazing. We ended up with a clear round and a faster time than anyone else, earning us first place.

Jessica was mad, but that's how she always is.

I have a feeling she won't be coming to the barn again anytime soon.

Not only was it a great weekend for Flint, it was a great weekend with Adam too.

We had never been this close, and getting to be with each other and alone for this long made us realize that we really cared about each other. That we would die for one another. I mean, the way he helped me with Flint and how he was scared for me after I fell. I saw just how much Adam really did love me. And, I loved him that much too. It made me realize just how close we really were, and that we had an amazing relationship with each other.

A smile came onto my face and Adam looked over at me.

"Hey, you awake," he said with a smile.

He was looking at me with his gorgeous face.

"Yeah, how long have I been out?" I asked a little tired.

He just laughed.

"About two hours now. These last couple of days exhausted you."

I took his hand in mine, and sat up.

"Thank you for coming," I said softly.

"Your welcome," he said and kissed me on the cheek. "I have a question though," he said curious.

I was a little confused now.

"What?"

He looked over at me.

"What happened. . . When you came off of Flint on Saturday?" he asked.

I sighed.

"We were coming to the jump when I looked over and saw Jessica standing over by you and talking with you," I said ashamed. "I wasn't concentrating and I didn't set him up for the jump. I basically made Flint find the distance by himself and he took off at the wrong time."

I was looking down at my hand in my lap.

"Livi, I want you to know that Jessica means nothing to me."

When he said that, I couldn't help but flash back to that horrible day when I saw them kissing at the school. That seemed like ages ago though.

He was still looking into my eyes, and I could tell he was speaking the truth.

"And, I love you more than anything. I haven't met anyone like you before and you're amazing. I would never even think about wanting someone else. Because, there is no one else better than you and there is no one else I'd rather be with."

I was looking at him now, mixed feelings running through my face. I was happy he'd said that, but I felt guilty for worrying like that.

"So, just know that, you have my heart, and I will never love anyone as much as I love you."


	15. Chapter 15: Change

I couldn't believe I'd come here. This was a mistake.

I sat in front of the cross with Dawson's name on it. Dad had buried him in the back pasture behind the stable.

We'd been back home for a day now, and I felt like I needed to come here.

For the first hour I just sat here, thinking. Strangely enough I hadn't started crying yet. Maybe it was because I'd changed.

Changed.

What a word.

I had changed so much in the last couple of months. While I was thinking about change, I couldn't help but think of Adam.

A smile fell on my face.

He had changed me. And I was thankful for that. He turned me back into the person I used to be before Mom died.

Adam was my sun, and he had pulled me out of my darkness. And he helped me to stay out of that darkness when Dawson died. I am positive that if I hadn't had Adam by my side when he died, I wouldn't have been able to get over it.

And he had helped me to accept Flint into my life. Because of him, I'm now riding this outstanding horse and creating a strong bond with him. Adam has done so much for me, and I'd never be able to repay him fully.

I had found a relationship with Adam that I never knew was possible. We cared about each other so much and if we ever had to be apart, I think I wouldn't be able to live. Adam was apart of me now. I had his heart and he had taken mine. There was no way we could be apart from each other.

But the best thing of all that he did was that he never gave up on me. He was always there for me and he didn't let me go like all the others did. He cared about me. He was one of the best things to come into my life. He had changed me. And he taught me that change is something that happens, good or bad. You learn to live with it and except it.

Change will always come and go and you can't keep holding on to the past, or you'll miss out on the wonderful things in life right beside you. Like Flint. And like Adam. I learned that change was a way of life, sometimes little, sometimes powerful. But however change comes, it comes, and you learn to live it.


End file.
